Self-Care That Heals (no products)

Going through a hard time lets us know what is most important in life and that it is our health and the health of our loved ones. It is the one thing that can change the trajectory of our lives.

(I used to think, in my arrogance, that eating well, exercising, hydrating, and taking supplements was for "other people". Oh, the folly of youth!)

Self-care is such a huge industry right now (and has been for the past few years) because we are going through so much and most of the time, we go through it alone. It can be incredibly hard to take care of yourself because we were never taught how to.

Our minds are always racing, along with our hearts and the "cures" we have been given, just make it worse. Not enough nutrition, too many calories, too much doom-scrolling, too few daily steps, all led me to a weak body and a weaker mind.

Unfortunately (and fortunately), the self-care that I need cannot be bought in a skincare product or a new red light therapy gadget. Genuine, authentic, effective self-care is free and needs daily commitment.

We need to start paying paying attention to ourselves and figure out what we actually need. You might need to sit with yourself, alone, undisturbed, for a long time, to figure out what those needs are, if you have never done it before.

Here is the self-care that works for me:

• Breath: Breathing is something we do without having to think but when I pay attention to my breathing I see how much I hold my breath. This makes me want to take a big deep breath and a long exhale.

• Posture: Most of the time, I have my back hunched and my neck dropped, looking at one screen or another. When I start feeling heavy, I fix my posture along with my breath. It helps by taking some of the physical pain away.

  
  

• Touch: In the last few years, I have decided that I will not buy/wear another piece of clothing that is not soft against my skin. Soft clothing just make me feel cosy and cared for. I love the sense of touch and clothing is such a huge part of it.

  
  

• Mind: A lot of the time, I was thinking about things I have no control over. Now, I have decided that I will not let anything enter my mind that does not concern me and that I have no control over. This may mean I cannot have a conversation about what took place in world politics yesterday and I am okay with that.

  
  

• Silence: I have always loved silence. I do not listen to music to relax, and nor can I have the television in the background as I do something else. My sound of preference is silence. It lets me think, process, feel, without any external input. This is excellent for some morning or evening meditation. Even if it's just a couple of minutes.

  
  

• Relaxation: Relaxing the physical body every few minutes (if it's a tense situation) or every few hours, as needed makes me feel connected to myself. I do this by thinking about each bit of my body and telling it to relax. And if I have control over those muscles, such as those in the face/jaw, I can physically relax them.

  
  

• Walks: This is my primary mode of exercise since I was a child. Therapeutic, no risk of injury, and no investment necessary. Good for the mind, body, and soul. Even a thirty minute walk makes me feel so very good.

  
  

• Water: Sipping on water, slowly, and throughout the day, is excellent for when you are trying to consume fewer foods and maintain your weight. As much as water is good for health, this vain reason is the one I drink it more for.

  
  

• Connection: I love my pets to death. When I spend time cuddling with a cat or staring into my dog's sweet eyes, I think of nothing but the love I hold for them and the affection they bestow upon me. It brings me so much fulfilment, life begins to look good again.

  
  

• Letting go: This is hard but try to let go of the pains of the past and the fears of the future. Have a mantra you tell yourself when you find yourself overthinking, overanalysing or ruminating. I keep repeating the mantra till my thoughts are like passing clouds.