Why I Will Never Marry An Indian


Indian men are assholes in relationships... At least almost all the ones I have encountered.

Whenever I imagined myself with a partner, I always, always pictured him to be a non-Indian man. I have always had this very, very bad image of Indian men because I have seen and met only a few (a number I can just count with one hand) of them who could be called "humane". Let me elaborate.

Since childhood, Indian men are put on a pedestal. They are the higher sex. When they are born, there is a celebration in the house because the penis that is going to pass on the legacy of the house is born. They are given better treatment and respect that girls never get. They are the apple of their mothers' eyes who treat them like a prince. They also notice their fathers being treated as kings at home. So, they grow up to be these men who think that women are doormats.

They do not know how to respect and treat a woman with love and care. They do not acknowledge that she is a human too. She isn't a fucking robot who cooks, cleans, takes care of your children and brings money to the table! Indian men do not like it when their women have financial independence. Even if the women work, they should always make less than the man so that his ego is not hurt. On the other side, if the woman does not work at all, she is made to feel like since she is doing nothing that adds to the income, she is basically useless. 


If the husband ever has to change locations due to a transfer in his job, the wife has to leave everything and go along with him. If the woman gets a similar opportunity, she will have to turn it down because her husband will not be moving just for her. 

Indian men think that their wives are inferior to them. This is because of the way they were raised and they see the sex discrimination all around them - how he is treated versus his sisters, how his father treats his mother etc. Some assholes even find it funny to insult their wives in front of others thinking that it is funny and others will think of them as "the stud". Yeah, it's not funny and you are insulting your better half. You are just an asshole. 

Also, just because you are men, it does not mean that you know more. Even with less education than their partners, these husbands treat their wives like crap. Which is fucking annoying to see! Hello, the woman married below her level and you are trying to up her? 

I have never seen an Indian man taking the side of his partner and saying that his partner is right and he is standing by her. No fucking way. It's always the wife's fault and she has to deal with her problems. She will never find her husband beside her. But in case, her husband has a problem, she of course is expected to let go of everything at hand and rush to him. And have you ever seen an Indian man take care of his baby/babysit while the mother is out with friends? No. It's always the woman who has to take care of the children as if he has no contribution at all in the process. But if the wife isn't able to conceive, that's another hell for her. 

Last but not the least, how Indian men treat their mothers versus how they treat their wives. So, these mothers treat their sons like princes and one day, their prince marries another girl. The mothers cannot handle this and go all bat-shit crazy. Daughter-in-laws are treated like second hand goods. So, what do our Indian men do about it when their mothers treat their wives badly? Nothing. They do not have the balls to stand up to their mothers and tell them to shove it. 





So whom do we blame for all of this? The way the men are brought up by their mothers? The way society encourages this kind of behaviour  Or the wife who tolerates his bullshit? I say that everything contributes to turning Indian men into the SOBs they are now. Since it doesn't look like this is going to change anytime soon, I shall steer away from getting too close to any Indian man. 

PS: I have not replied to most of the comments that agree with my point of view. Sometimes you say it better than I do and I thank you for reading the post and commenting. I really do value your support. 

Related Posts:
Fuck You, India!
Control Your Damn Kids!
Sexual Harassment, Rape & More
Ambanis and Bikinis
Women on Top
And my epic post: Incredible? Really??

270 comments:

  1. TOTALLY TRUE.... LOVED THIS !!!

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  2. I am glad you did! Thank you for reading. :)

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    1. I read this and I was thinking how wonderful it is to be tarred with the same brush. A few Indian men are bad so we must all be bad eh?

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    2. It's NOT just a few of you though; pretty much ALL of you are assholes.

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    3. I have noticed that most of my commenters who are against what I say are Indian men. Obviously, they think I am crazy and they are awesome. They are delusional and do not see themselves for how we seem them.

      Being a woman and experiencing life is completely different than when you have a penis. So please. Don't tell me whether my opinions are right or wrong.

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    4. Of course they think we're crazy and delusional - they always blame EVERYTHING on us women! They never stop and think that their behavior may be causing the reaction they're getting.

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    5. Hi Anceeta,
      My name is Raj, I'm an Indian man and I would just like to say that I unconditionally, absolutely, irrevocably without a hesitation of a doubt AGREE with u!! This is something that is systemic and ingrained among indian families especially from India. I was born and raised in England but saw how my dad was with my mother and how my dads family treated her. I have two sister and if they ever married a Indian man that treated them like crap I would beat the shit out of them! Enjoyed reading your article of blunt bold truth, your awesome. Thanks

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    6. Hello Ladies (Anceeta Martis, Sarina Gregoire & Dhriti)

      I Would Not Agree At All As Not All Indian Mens are Like What You Indicated Above., As if That Would Be True - There Were More Divorce Cases Filed in India. Also Note That Divorce Cases In India as Very Low Compared to Other Countries.

      I Don't Disagree With The Article But Not All Indian Men are Like That as the Time has Totally Changed & are Treating Womens Equally Say it Professionally OR Personally.

      Kindly Give a Second Thought.

      Thank You.

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    7. Hi Anceeta, I am a Bengali Indian married to a white Dutch guy and I can tell you from experience that there are plenty of independent Indian women and plenty of subservient white ones. . Think of white men like John Kennedy, Prince Charles, Bill Clinton, Bob Hawke etc. : why did their wives give up their own careers and put up with their sleazy affairs? Hilary probably went the furthest with changing her name, hair colour, glasses for contacts and learning to exchange biscuit recipes with the other Moms. Read about the antics of Gerard Baden-Clay in Australia who has just been convicted for the murder of his wife after many years of cheating on her and treating her like shit.Read also about Indian men like Raja RamMohun Roy, Saratchandra Chatterjee, Swami Vivekananda etc. who championed women's rights in an age when it was not only not fashionable, but quite dangerous to do so. On a less elevated scale there are many decent Indian men and I am very proud to have them as my friends.

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  3. Hi Anceeta, I am Edcil Noronha. Reading this blog I do not agree with you completely because you have not specifically mentioned which type of Indian males you're describing about. This blog can be related to the older generation and the village people, as they are the ones who believe in this more. As for my parents, I have never seen them facing this nor is there issues on who earns more and who does the work at home.
    As for the current generation there is nothing like the Male are the kings, even the females do take over and they take over like worst than the males.
    I am not being critical but i just didnt feel right about this blog as there are a lot of Indians who do not stay in India but abroad and I can guarantee that they do not behave the same way...
    If you wish to marry someone who is an Indian, you should know him as a person really well before you marry him.
    Take care.
    a small advise - just research a little bit more when you come to these topics because they can be very sensitive...

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    1. NO DEAR ALL U INDIAN ASSHOLES ,FROM INDIA ARE CHAUVINIST PIGS EVEN IF U GUYS MOVE YOUR BUTT TO ANODA COUNTRY OR ANODA PLANET...AND PLIZ M INDIAN TOO AND THNK GOD STILL SINGLE

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    2. I agree...all Indian males are ass holes. I have seen all around the world..no matter where they go what they do and how educated they. woman is like slave to them..every single line is described beautifully..no doubt about it.

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    3. funny.. An asshole can observe only the asshole in every one.. Things are changing..update yourself..you seems to be an obsolete version..

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    4. Well, don't stereo-type a whole sex. It's true, that's how society is, and I pretty much agree with a lot of stuff pointed out in the essay. I'm an eighteen year old, and as far as I'm seeing it, there are plenty of assholes still. But I DO know a lot of great guys. Times have changed, look around you.

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    5. Every word in this article is true. I met an Indian man who already had a girlfriend in America. I am in Germany. His name is Anmol Chandan or Nikka Anmol. He cheats lies and is a lying piece of shite. He took photos of our visit to show his friends and used me. He uses online dating sites to find women all over the world and con them. He uses them to stay or have sex until they see him. He is disgusting with bad hygiene and clogged pores all over. Dirty. He is doesn't deserve any woman and all need to beware.

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    6. Every word in this article is true. I met an Indian man who already had a girlfriend in America. I am in Germany. His name is Anmol Chandan or Nikka Anmol. He cheats lies and is a lying piece of shite. He took photos of our visit to show his friends and used me. He uses online dating sites to find women all over the world and con them. He uses them to stay or have sex until they see him. He is disgusting with bad hygiene and clogged pores all over. Dirty. He is doesn't deserve any woman and all need to beware.

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  4. Hey Edcil! So happy to see you reading this!

    I have lived in Bahrain (studied in ISB), Bangalore and lived in a village till I was 5. The thing is I didn't find any difference in the core mindsets of people in these three places. Nor did I find any difference because of age or generations. Granted that people who were born in the nineties know a lot more and are exposed more to the western culture, they are still heavily influenced by the Indian community and their families.

    My friend was dating an Indian. He was born and brought up in Bahrain, attended ISB and still he was condescending, domineering and a complete jerk. We honestly thought that we were being biased towards Indian guys because not all are the way we projected them. But this guy proved that no matter how many guys claim that they are modern and open minded, they really cannot free themselves from the shackles of society.

    But I still say that there must be about 5% of Indian men whom I would say I would not mind being with for the rest of my life. But I cannot gamble on such a small percentage. And hence, I ruled out Indian men.

    I didn't mean to offend anyone. Just merely pointing out the truth which can be bitter. As for the research, I write these posts based on my experience. It's just my opinion and not a study or survey done. :P

    Again, thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. Do visit again!

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  5. I duly agree on the what your emphasizing and it also depends on the type of parents and the mentality that they are brought up in. As far as I am concerned, I am brought up with a mentality where even the girl gets a right like the men do. And honestly even if the woman earns more than the men doesn't matter because they also have the rights to do what they want.
    Well i got some more points, there are even females who take over the men in the families and they actually rule like Hitler, trust me thats bad. I would rather go for equality, there are woman who have ended relationships in families and else where and yeah men also did. But i like the blog alot really great on the topics that you have brought up.... But this would be the best blog for people who are basically living in India with the Indian Mentality. note that not only the 90s have the modern culture but also the 80s and the late 70s have the same thinking with a wife like we do...
    dont worry when i get the time i shall go through your blogs and maybe suggest you some topics where i dont mind putting in some topics also.

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  6. *smiles*

    A series of comments brought me to this blog, so I guess thats the only plus from reading ISB confessions.

    I admire your 'ugly truth' sort of writing style and take on certain topics.

    Keep up the good work!

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  7. My target audience is anyone who wants to know the truth. I would love to write about Bahraini politics too but it's not safe for me to do so. :(

    I am glad I got another reader!

    Thank you!

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    1. Maybe if u have the BALLS, u can write about Bahraini Men based on your vast experience and third party accounts of the relationship of your friends with others.

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    2. I love local Arab men! I meant about politics and the economy. I don't have the balls to write about that, unfortunately.

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  8. A large percentage of Indian men are selfish, arrogant, and unkind by nature. They are greedy, cheaters, and fake. I made the mistake of marrying one and have regretted it ever since. Although there is an attraction to one of your own kind, you realize he acts like a sheep in front of his family but is a wolf in disguise. I would never let my daughters go near a man from India.

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  9. Hi Meena,

    That is very true. Indian men are such hypocrites and they never take their wife's or children's side. I am glad you agree with me and have decided to let your daughters marry outside your community.

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    1. u talk too much. u can express ur rage over indians in few words. eg: i hate indians.thats all. Hating all indian men wont change the affection, truth, respect and expandable love that we kept in our wives. we love our family, friends,wife,husband,siblings and religion(Jesus). so it dosen't mean that all indian males are rude.

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    2. She can express her 'rage' exactly as she sees fit. This is her blog. If you disagree go and set up your own blog. If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen.... sir. :)

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    3. My thoughts exactly, Staleywise! Thank you!

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    4. Agreed! It's called freedom of speech. Must still be a foreign concept in India, huh?

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    5. @nikita -then you must check indian laws freedom of speech is there and for your infomation
      i'm a indian and i think in my family our sister has got even more love than male childrens from
      both of my parent and i had seen my eleder cousin brother madly in love with his wife
      what Anceeta is saying might be a situation at some places but i don't see it every where.

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  10. Replies
    1. I am the queen of generalizing. Why? Because I cannot be bothered to write for those 0.01% of the people.

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    2. do not generalize about indian men like this...as m sure ur father is indian ...so in short u r insulting him too

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    3. so much of hate...not good......not all indian men are bad.....men u r talking about are gone now.....i mean its not even 2 years since u completed ur 12th.....ur experiences are based on wat u saw when u were a child.....u shld vist us again....try to understand us now....perhaps ur mind may change about us......

      think about your father

      there is no need to generalize as most of the indians are of middle class...and a middle class father of a daughter has a huge burden on his head....atleast 10 lakhs for her education...than at least 20-40 lakhs on her marriage..tatz a huge amount of money for a middle class man....now imagine....90% people in india belong to middle class...and out of tat...60% are fathers of daughters....sometimes a son and a daughter..and some times two daughters...now imagine the burden they face...the only thing they can think about is the future and safety of their girl child....so no.....most of the indian men are not bad...yeah our culture is male dominant and there are many unacceptable things which men do...in india...but tat dosn mean one shld generalize all men in one category....

      thank you :)

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    4. Did I say anything against poor or middle class men? Indian men are the same no matter how wealthy or poor they are. And are you saying that because a man is poor, he has the right to be a chauvinistic pig or have ill manners? What safety are the fathers providing? If their daughters get teased on the street, the fathers blame their daughters' clothing instead of punching the bastards on the road. I speak about the majority and you know what I am saying is the truth for the majority.

      Because I am young, what I say is wrong? Where's the logic in that?

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    5. well.... i m sorry....read your other blog....about your past experiences with some men over here...that makes me nobody to tell you whats right and what wrong....am really sorry......


      just wanted to say that....not everybody is bad.....well......m not gonna bother you again...

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    6. YA FUCK U ....PIG

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  11. I always puke at people who are of Indian origin and are 1st or 2nd generation Indians immigrated to west or other developed nations criticizing India. they impost themselves as if they are the pure caucasian white sahib/madam and tries to press their points as if sitting in a top of hill.

    Indian men are small? is that the part why they are ditched? I think you are the one who commented Indian pakistani are small down there?

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    1. I don't understand your English too well to know what point you are trying to make, Mr. Norhona. But if you read any of my other posts you will see that I criticise "white" people as much as Indians. Basically what I do is speak the truth. If you find the truth bitter, I cannot help you. If you don't want anyone criticising India or Indians, make sure that there is nothing to criticize about.

      As for their penis size, I am sorry but I have no experience with that to help you. But I would not ditch a man just because he had a small penis if he was wonderful in all other ways.

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  12. There is some Jim Carreyish touch in your emotional writing.But one must admit that your side of the coin sure does look gloomy.All the best with the men of the rest of the world.

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    1. It's such an honour to be compared to him! Maybe next time you could find your balls and write with your name? And I do not need your wish for I have everything I want.

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  13. stuyding in bahrain doesn't help u understand indian men well enough,perhaps u can talk for your father but please dont talk for mine.

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    1. I will write about whoever I want. If you get offended, you're free not to read. By the way, I lived in India for 8 years.

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    2. fuck u indian man!!

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  14. So much venom, looks personal.
    Is this the story of your home, your mother ?
    My sis is married to an Indian and is doing great, and she doesnt need to lie to me.

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    1. The story is of people like you.

      You know she's doing great because you live inside her mind? Or her home?

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    2. wow u r rite gal

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  15. i agree with you Anceeta. you are a beautiful girl that deserve much better than these Indian men that will never change their attitude towards women. I've heard they even beat up their wives to let go of their stress! proud of you for STANDING UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS!

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  16. I couldn't agree more!

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  17. Dear blogger,
    maybe you are a bit more judgemental about indian males. dont take me posting this comment on their behalf. just for your information- life is not a probability game. say if X product has life of 5 yrs(consider any good electronics), does that mean that it ll never falter. there maybe 1 in a million chance of it being worse than your worst imagination. what to do in such cases. label the brand as incompetent?? Considering the divorce rates in west- marriage as an insititution and concepts appear more flawed in west (statistically speaking) and hence the attitude of both partners. Its true that both partners should be equally responsible to make it work, but is that possible socially? Always one partner maybe excelling than the other(except rare circumstances). Probabaly you are yet to meet a genuinely balanced man. Once you meet him race, ethnicity doesnt matter. Just have a wider outlook on things.

    PS: M unmarried indian male, who doesnt believe in inequalities, except what nature has given. (N this PS is not for some extrapolation. i havent even bothered to know about you. But yes the blog was something which needed to be replied)

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    1. I am judgmental. It is my right to be. And I do not have a problem with men in general;I have a wonderful relationship with a man.

      As for your other concerns, I speak about what happens majority of the time. What I have written above, is what happens for the majority. It is wrong and I am stating that. If you cannot see the inequality in the Indian society and marriages, that's not my problem.

      I did not say anything about the "West". But since you brought it up, let me say that women in the West have much more freedom than Indian women, who are brutally oppressed. I think that if a couple is not happy with each other, they should divorce or end the relationship and seek a happy relationship with someone else instead of spending your life with someone you do not love, as Indian couples do.

      Both partners are in the relationship, aren't they? So they should jointly decide to make it work or to end it. Who is excelling more in their career or life does not affect the relationship of the couple if they are genuinely strong and mature individuals.

      Maybe I cleared up a few things for you.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

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    2. Look asshole u have no common sense ...the reason y Indian marriages work is becoz most indian women are uneducated and have nowhere to go after a divorce wid their children ....their family disowns them...........

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  18. Anceeta,

    I'm Indian brought up by Christian parents. I was born in Bahrain by the way. I lived there till I was 9. I then moved to a boarding school for 5 years in India till I was 13. I have lived in New Zealand ever since then.

    "They are the apple of their mothers' eyes who treat them like a prince. They also notice their fathers being treated as kings at home. So, they grow up to be these men who think that women are doormats."
    Not true in my household. Both my parents worked, Dad was not treated like a king neither was Mom treated like a queen. I was never brought up to think women are doormats.

    "Indian men do not like it when their women have financial independence. Even if the women work, they should always make less than the man so that his ego is not hurt. On the other side, if the woman does not work at all, she is made to feel like since she is doing nothing that adds to the income, she is basically useless."

    Not true, it's incredibly sexy to see a working woman. I don't care if she makes more than me as we'll be together and be in a collaborative relationship.

    "Indian men think that their wives are inferior to them. This is because of the way they were raised and they see the sex discrimination all around them - how he is treated versus his sisters, how his father treats his mother etc. Some assholes even find it funny to insult their wives in front of others thinking that it is funny and others will think of them as "the stud". Yeah, it's not funny and you are insulting your better half. You are just an asshole."

    These guys sound like a complete twats!

    Also, just because you are men, it does not mean that you know more. Even with less education than their partners, these husbands treat their wives like crap. Which is fucking annoying to see! Hello, the woman married below her level and you are trying to up her?

    Women who are intelligent are also incredibly sexy.

    "I have never seen an Indian man taking the side of his partner and saying that his partner is right and he is standing by her. No fucking way. It's always the wife's fault and she has to deal with her problems. She will never find her husband beside her. But in case, her husband has a problem, she of course is expected to let go of everything at hand and rush to him. And have you ever seen an Indian man take care of his baby/babysit while the mother is out with friends? No. It's always the woman who has to take care of the children as if he has no contribution at all in the process. But if the wife isn't able to conceive, that's another hell for her."

    Depends on how this guy was brought up.

    As far as I'm concerned, once I get married, my wife will never be second best.

    I hope you find your significant other, Indian or not. I just don't want you steering away from Indian men due to the bad experiences you've had with them. It's these sorts of men that gives someone like me a bad reputation.

    Good Luck

    Marlon


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    1. Hey Marlon

      First of all, you are living in New Zealand and I wonder how much exposure you have to the Indians residing in India as well as the mentality of the Indian men abroad. Maybe our generation...born in the 90s and later, will improve the situation of Indian women but I doubt it. I see the current generation and I do not have high hopes for all. Maybe a few.

      I am glad you were raised by good parents and hopefully you won't be one of the husbands I have mentioned.

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

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    2. Hey, I'm in India right now and have been for 3 months. It just so happens (coincidence) that an old high school friend announced his engagement today to me. He's a quiet and usually reserved person and kept to himself. Now...he's totally different and happy. You are right, the majority of Indian men are dicks. You just need to know where the good ones are. Good luck again from Bangalore.

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  19. Indian Guys, Don`t Be Sad!
    She is only taking about 50% Indian Men... Not 100% of Indian Men!
    Other 50% treat their wife as a Queen...

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    1. I'm talking about 99% of Indian men.

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    2. I would agree that it's 99%, at least for Indian men in the US. Keep in mind that most of these men are professors, graduate students, and physicians. Even India's best and brightest treat women very poorly.

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    3. I agree with you Sarina. I am a non-Indian and dated an educated Indian guy. He also holds a senior managerial position. I adored him so much but he treated me like shit. Based on my personal experience, here are my observations about Indian men:

      1. If you compliment them, they think you are flirting and you may be tagged as "easy".
      2. They don't know the mechanics of courtship.
      3. They are cheapskates.
      4. They don't know the meaning of the word "no".
      5. They find it hard to say sorry even if it's their fault.
      6. They will never respect women because they have big egos.
      7. They are grave players, liars, users, and fakes.
      8. Cricket is their life.
      9. They are uncomfortable around women who speak their minds.
      10. They see women are mere sex objects only.

      To all decent women of the world, do yourselves a favor - STAY AWAY FROM INDIAN MEN. THERE ARE A BATCH OF DISGUSTING BASTARDS, PERVERTS, AND LOSERS!

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    4. Well, I feel that these you are talking about still do exist , but Indian men are changing with time and many men even want their wives to work with them and are starting to even take of household chores , not like before . Indias culture has been let down in villages where people are uneducated and used to believe in male superiority , I didn't say it is fully abolished . But I do feel that their is change on the way and that Indian women will be treated with utmost love and care in the future to come. Hoping for a better future

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    5. AnonymousApril 17, 2014 at 4:27 PM : I really loved your observations and couldn't have put it better myself.

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  20. So ,you are like lady rowdy....but it is your ego that made you post on such issue ,so you go by your girls pride attitude and hopefully get married to a man who have all the qualities you wish for ,I'm afraid that you will ever get married .

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    1. exactly brother:D. ur words are perfect. she dosen't even know to love one another. i think she is possessed by a daemon.

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    2. No actually, it happens that Indians are not the only people in the world. So she has way better choices of non-indian men. I feel sorry for your poor wife.

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  21. I can totally understand your feelings and agree with you...and I must say we need more girls like you....and I think all this things depends on our society and how men are raised...hence creating that kinda mentality....i think it has do with who people as a person...then being Indian...but I agree most Indians that way....i will still say...be careful you already are smart...not giving chance just someone is Indian will be wrong...judge them as a person...i am Indian I am not that way...maybe cuz I am from different place in Himachal( kinnaur )...u can test me...i am not lying or defending anyone....just saying not everyone has same mentality.....just judging them cuz they just Indian and keeping yourself away from them I think is too extreme...yet I do agree with you...it's very hard being a girl in India...keep it up...we need more girls like you...

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  22. It's really hard to be a girl in India..true...really need more girls like you...keep it up...

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    1. Your welcome miss...and have a lovely evening...

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    2. u both are demonic jerks. go fuck urself

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  23. Did a pretty Good job Trolling for Western Feminist Agencies! I highly doubt u are an Indian women... but a paid white feminist reject in disguise. So how much are u getting paid for writing this Anti-Indian BullSht that no one reads?

    Everyone in the world know western style Male-hating "feminism" is one of the main reasons Western societies are in decline with 40-50% divorce rate! fatherless children, Gov funded child support, and ultimately destruction of nuclear family or any prospective future that children from good families bear.

    Wondering why children from India and China are so successful? Because they had good parenthood. But being a male-hating trolling Agent of Western funded NGOs u want to bring this BullSht to India right now to destroy our own future! Yea I got the massage alright!

    Give me something new other then the same biased, racist Anti-India, West is all perfect idol BullSht. Because this BS that started since "slum dog millionaire" hasn't really stopped since then, which many Indians are very aware of.

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    1. You are a cowardly git who is the root cause of rapes, child marriages, domestic abuse, infanticide, foeticide and other such problems in the society. Feminism is the belief that men and women are equal. If you don't respect your own mother, I hardly think you are going to improve the society in anyway. Besides, answer me this, why are Indians so successful outside India? I don't even want to lower my IQ conversing with idiots like you!

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    2. What a "standard" reply. This just proves what he said. For those who don't know what this standard reply is, it is accusing the other person (the man who protests) for all problems of women like rape, dowry, child abuse, human trafficking, murder and each and every woman's fart. 99% is not like that. And if they did behave that way, something could be wrong on your part.

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  24. ok this is getting a bit out of hand...take the emotion out of your posts please people. I still think we need to educate Anceeta about the reality so she can at least show a little bit of respect

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  25. Anceeta Martis - You are right about the Indian males (majority of them). Not all Indian men are like that It depends from person to person and probably from caste to caste. There are lots of Indian men who also support their wives financially and see them grow in education, career,etc. Men, also in fact take the burden of the wives family. I've seen it and trust me it isn't fair on him either since he married the girl not the family. I'm sure you just came across some bad men. At the end of the day we all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Are you by chance married?

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    Replies
    1. Precisely... there are "lots" of Indian men who encourage their wives while millions and millions don't.

      What does my marital status have to do with anything?

      Delete
  26. You have some valid points, which do apply to some Indian men. I agree that Indian society does not respect women; it really is a long way behind the rest of the world. When I go to India and a man behind a desk refuses to talk specifics about organising a driver with my mother and ignores her, I do feel shame and hate for this man and the society which makes this behavior commonplace. I would like to swear at him and demand an apology, but again, I would have to ask my mother for the right words. I don't think that would be appropriate.

    It sucks that you have been unlucky enough to meet only Indian men of this type. I'm sorry for those that are, but whether its 60% or 99%, I'll keep pushing with hands and feet to expand that minor percentage to which I belong.

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  27. u really did manage to write something well. I am off-course with u, u r damn right about indian boys. I am sick of it, and if you are white girl then u r treated like a sex slave or a whore. Even I run my stop sexism initiative and i find it difficult with indians to talk about sexual objectification, harms of gonzo and sick pornography, sex trafficking as if girls are made for sex for them to satisfy their hunger. Ask indian boys why they want to visit russia or ukraine, to have sex tourism. My girlfriend is white and i m sick of indian boys to, may be because i am Male feminist and brown too idk :/

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew
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    ReplyDelete
  29. I agree. I hate Indian men. I dated a few and will never again. They don't know how to date properly and treat women like shit. Glad I'm dating an American guy right now.

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  30. Can't agree with this article entirely. These are very sensitive topics and it's complex in several ways. I do agree that there are a lot of asshole men (Indian) but I do know a lot of women who are just stupid bitches and don't deserve any respect just like those men. I am talking about the women who take advantage of the rights given to them I mean they misuse it to hurt people who have done no harm to them but only loved and respected them. Source- My Life experience and by the way I am all up for women's rights.

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    1. I completely agree that women can be complete bitches too. But I do not believe that in India men are the victims (in most cases) but women are. And that is what I am stating.

      Delete
    2. Anceeta you are absolutely wrong. Men are the victims in most cases. After delhi rape, some amendments were done in the law and since then number of cases has doubled and acquittal rate went up from ~45% in 2012 to 76% in first 8 months of 2013. If you are gonna call 99% as assholes I can call you a bitch as you don't understand our culture. Every kid by nature is more attached to mother. What's wrong in expecting my wife take care of the kids? Why do you want to be equal with men? You are far superior than men. If my wife pokes her nose into a discussion about which she has no idea, I have know qualms in discouraging that, even if its a male doing it. We have better family system now. Loving wives and husbands who live together forever. Great families. We don't ill treat our womem. At least not to the extent that media is portraying. So plz keep this feminism n all those shit in the west. We know what "equality" you want. American men are pissed off with those things and these feminists see a good market in India to make money.

      Delete
  31. Hey. Thank you for posting this. I have been actually looking for articles because well, I am a bit confused.

    So some Indian guys added me on a social networking site and get this, MAJORITY of these Indian men were total pervs. At first they'll be like super sweet and caring, until they will say I LOVE YOU immediately which is really funny and send you emoticons/stickers which can be visually disturbing at times. I mean, are they that excited to get in a girl's pants? And then they'll ask for a picture of your breasts and because I was unfortunately lucky, my first conversation with one of the guys was him saying that he loves sex and then comes the very detailed "graphic representation" of what he wants to do to my body. Clearly, they haven't learned R-E-S-P-E-C-T from whoever raised them. Anyway, I just reported and blocked them. Sorry for being a little mad.

    I haven't totally lost hope to find the man who'll wait for me at the altar. I am a practicing Catholic, plus size Filipina who just turned 22, and my life is just getting started.

    I still believe every person have innate goodness (despite of the race). Maybe there are still good guys out there (Indian or not) who are going to love and respect us. And someday, he'll reveal himself when we least expect it.

    Anceeta. Maybe no one can change your views on them and I completely understand because I have experienced it myself. Maybe this is just one of the few things in our lives that we need to experience to help us be wiser, braver and more ready for the real thing.

    All the best!

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    Replies
    1. Lol. Don't even try this online dating with Indian men. Pre marital sex is a taboo and girls worry being tagged as bitches. Sad that guys still tag women like that. Biologically males want sex. Just remember awkward moment you had sex with a virgin guy when you were young. Women here show off everything but uff... no sex. We just ought to use our hands. This makes guys go crazy. Porn sites receive enormous traffic from India. 2nd level in maslow's pyramid isn't being fulfilled. What else do you expect? I'm not justifying. Just explaining. By the way this is the same guy who ranted about feminism in a prev comment! I really wish things should be completely western style or Indian. Midway is not good

      Delete
  32. Nice blog, very narrow minded opinion but it is sadly true. Whatever happened to you or whoever treated you badly i feel sorry for them and your bad experience because of them. Even though everyone might have an opinion about anything anyone says, please try to come to peace with yourself. you are safe now as you mentioned you found someone who treats you right. Men are men irrespective of where they are from. Life is simple, There are as many bitches as much as there are assholes in this world. I wish you well in your life and i hope that the hate dries out soon. Dont listen to these fools who are fueling your hate rather than comforting you from your pain. Nor the ones defending for something they had no idea what your went through to put this in a public forum. Hate is never going to make you feel better, it is going to grow inside you. 'This too shall pass' is something that helped me a lot when i had to be in a situation that makes me feel trapped. Luv your man, live life simply and dont care to hate. I was cheated after an 8 yr relationship. I felt hate, i felt anger, i felt lost and trapped. But I slowly slowly stopped feeling these things when I put my mind to something better, may be for you its your man. Luv him and care for him and make him feel wanted and respected everyday. I hope you treats you right and you smile back at the issues you had in your life like it never happened, that is peace!
    - Allwin

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    Replies
    1. This post isn't out of some mental problem I have. I do not have anger issues. I have a blog to promote awareness of societal problems by giving people the brutal truth. I do not need comfort or acceptance by my readers. I only want the post to be read by as many people as possible.

      Delete
  33. I'm a 25 year old guy from India, and I feel your article is pretty much spot-on. Indian men (including me) tend to treat ladies with disdain by default (although your 99% is pretty much an exaggeration). I'm well- educated, articulate (it shows in my speaking and writing) and well-versed with different cultures, but despite everything I tend to go into MCP mode rather easily. I'm trying hard to change this though. I'm glad your article came my way at the right time. But as a suggestion, try to avoid taking the bra-burning feminist approach. (Even discounting the 'teen' age factor, your writing and content is volatile enough to generate aggressive backlash). Thanks.

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    Replies
    1. 99% isn't an exaggeration. I am not a bra burning feminist. I love my bras. I believe very strongly in women's right to an equal life. I do not mind the backlash as it is usually from ignorant people and those in denial. I am not a teenager.

      Delete
    2. You may not be a teenager, but you have the blind ignorance of one. I am an Indian man and I was born in India. Not all Indian men are demons as you claim. Assholes and dumb, angry cunt bitches exist in all cultures in all corners of the globe. You are as ignorant as some white people who in 2014 wonder how I can be from India and speak english so well and without the stupid accent we are so famous for. I guess I should label ALL white people as fucking ignorant morons then...but that's simply not the case...for ANY culture!

      I understand some fucked up desi dude fucked with you and got you all mad, but don't be like the ignorant whities and start bashing all Indian men...you don't know 99% of them to begin with.

      Plus I saw a comment up there about how you love Arab men.. I mean really? You want to talk about injustice to women and you "love" the men from the culture that is world famous for all kinds of brutality and cruelty towards their women? Just that one statement of yours negates any credibility of anything you have said regarding Indian men. Please don't be ignorant..It's ok to be angry, but don't let ignorance be the cause of your anger.

      Delete
    3. I love Arabs because they know who they are. They don't deny it and portray themselves as free-thinkers and open minded people who have "democracy" like the Indians do. They are a Muslim community. At the same time, they respect their wives (or their wives divorce them...none of that burning your wives because she didn't get dowry crap that's so common in India). They love their daughters as much as they love their sons. They move out immediately after marriage. Yes, women are oppressed...no doubt. But they are not delusional enough like Indians to say that they are perfect. And rapists have punishments...also unlike India so they are very rare (compared to India).

      Compare the brutality and cruelty of Indians towards women, lower-caste people, animals etc. to that of Arabs and I would run away with an Arab blindly rather than be with an Indian. As for the rest of your nonsense about "white" people... I do think a lot of the Americans are idiots.

      Delete
  34. this post is totally amazing!! its completely true what you have said about indian men in general and the way they are treated in the society and at home by people which fill them with all that pride by which they turn out to be the way they are....ive seen it myself with my own eyes as to how men are unequally treated at home by their parents and how they treat their wives and kids. ill share some of my own personal experience about how it used to go....my father(whom i hate and regret for being my parent) is a drunkard and a chain smoker who was (and probably is) jobless and did nothing to earn money. his mother is a crazy old hag that treats him like he's king and says nothing about his habits, but blames my mother for all the bad things that happen at home.
    she treated my mother like shit. the hag's great son abused me and my mom and blamed her of sleeping around with every tom, dick and harry on the block and also tried to feed that shit into my head when i was a kid. then one day he asked her to go look for a job is she had the guts. my mom couldnt take it anymore and walked out of the house....later she got a job in a far off village where they spoke a language she wasnt fluent in and taught english in a school. at this time i was in boarding school and i went to stay with her after one year. he came there too and one day he stole all the certificates and important documents and the passports when my mom was in school and took them all away without my mom's notice....and he did all that just because she was successful and happy. he made a nuisance of the neighbourhood where she lived and made sure that she had to shift....after he went, we (me, my mom and sis) kept going from place to place to better jobs and a better life.
    im an indian boy (well i just turned 18, so excuse me :) ) and i find no fault in anything you have said. it is the society and the upbringing here that makes the people what they are today. ive always been in a non-conventional house where me and my sis are completely equal and i have been taught what is wrong and what is right. people here look at me and say im so unconventional and uncultural and all that shit....if male domination and discrimination is the culture, then im better off without it.
    its a good thing that i havent been brought up in my father's presence otherwise i wouldnt the person i am right now and would be saying shit like "think of your father and dont generalize indian men" like how i see above....
    im absolutely proud of my mother who went against all odds fighting social forces and being the woman she is today...she is unlike other indian women who are either busy serving their royal husbands or bringing up future royal heirs.
    its bullshit that a middle-class father has all those so-called burdens to bear like educating their daughter and paying for marriage and all that shit....they anyway would have to do it for their sons, then why the burden? or is it a burden only when it comes to their girl child??
    i might be deviating from the actual topic, but its all connected like a giant connected thingy...
    india will never progress if such issues exist....these social issues make me so angry...the damn discrimination and inequality.....
    to add it we have the greats who have commented above about what a demon you are....even if youre a demon, i respect you cause you brought the truth in the light.....
    we need more people like you who are not afraid of saying the truth are being modern and bringing out the fact that women are human beings too...
    -Kartikeyan S (Sudha).
    kartikeyans1@hotmail.com

    {i didnt know how to put my name in the comment as box}

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    1. Your mother sounds like an extraordinary woman! Thanks for commenting.

      Delete
  35. Hi there!
    I`m an man from Europe, and in general interested in how other cultures and how locals interact.
    I`ve been talking to an Indian girl for sometime now and I have never communicated that good and wholehearted with another person before, and I plan to visit India in july this year, first of all to experience a new culture, and ofcourse because this girl (dont know how it will go in the long run, but nothing is gained without trying, and to be real I already like her alot and I am a believer)
    I have no experience with Indian culture, and I am so exited to visit such an special country, and I have read alot about how women are treated in India, even the news here in Europe has highligted it.
    I find it sad that it`s all generalised - might be true that 99% of men are like you describe, but I am all for second chances and changes, I know many cultures that have the same problems, even Norway where I live had much of the same problems not many decades ago - so my question to you is what are you as part of this culture do about it, and what can be done?
    I think this blog is one step to enlightenment, but also think it is hurtfull written, nonetheless it`s a blog where you express your feelings, so I see your point.

    Just for an statement as well, men other places in the world aint always better, same goes for women. I have been in several relationships with locals here, and I dont find it wierd that divorcerates are so high in western countries - we have become isolated in our own way of livig that has become so materialistic, and every time it has destroyed the relationship and I am tired of it, yes there are people that aint like this, but with the divorcerate of 80% in some countries and increasing means that there is an serious problem over here as well.

    Hope you all find what you are looking for, atleast I got my hopes up this time!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hello! Want to know abt u? Ur experience the ill treatment u received? The understanding u have abt family life? The lovelessness u sufferred? The jealosy u experienced? And ur expectation from ur partner? N the ppl u dated and the terms of dating n ur committnent and understandubg u hv shown towards ur relationships if u had any. I know many whom for thier wives sake left thier parents n living separately. Even not from my generation but my prev generation ppl.

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  37. What non-sense.. May be u were in a hurry to get involved with those men.. I totally disagree with this post. After reading "Sex Is Not a Four Letter Word" I thought i will find more sensible blogs and views on your site.. it was really a turn off..

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  38. Hi there! I`m a Russian girl married to an Indian man, and while I don`t have experience about other Indian guys and I`ve certainly heard sayings like these in this post talking about Indian men in general not in the best way, but I just want to tell you that my husband is the most amazing person I`ve ever met! The best of the best, the most respectful, understanding, supporting, modern, ready to sacrifice everything to make me happy. He has travelled a lot, and that also has its impact I suppose, I just wish the girls to be worth the best and meet worthy men in their lives, and let the guys no matter of nationality be real men to deserve real women.

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  39. Hi there! I`m a Russian girl married to an Indian man, and while I don`t have experience about other Indian guys and I`ve certainly heard sayings like these in this post talking about Indian men in general not in the best way, but I just want to tell you that my husband is the most amazing person I`ve ever met! The best of the best, the most respectful, understanding, supporting, modern, ready to sacrifice everything to make me happy. He has travelled a lot, and that also has its impact I suppose, I just wish the girls to be worth the best and meet worthy men in their lives, and let the guys no matter of nationality be real men to deserve real women.

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  40. Anceeta,

    I find Indians to be the kindest, most gracious and beautiful people on the planet. Through some organizations here in the U.S. I've done humanitarian work in India and there I fell in love for the first time--and I mean MADLY in love with the most wonderful Indian man in the world.

    I could go on and on about how he treated his guests like kings and queens, how loving and romantic he was.... He did not have a fear of intimacy like American men do--he was very open about his hopes, dreams, feelings....

    Early on in the relationship I had subtle uneasy feelings... This man, who was a Mother Theresa type of person, who was absolutely wonderful to everyone, was covertly condescending and controlling of me! He called me "his wife" and said that I was closer to him than family. But, he hid our relationship from everyone, forbade me from telling others about it, and he RARELY called me (the relationship was long distance). My heart was always breaking, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He told me to wait "a few years" for our marriage. Well, I think he would've kept saying that indefinitely!!! The worst thing was that his mother had some idea we had something going on between us, and she made sure I knew in a not-so-subtle way that she and him were bonded for life, and that I rank way beneath her. It took 2 years of torture and a friend pointing out that I was being emotionally abused for me to see the light.

    I am still not over my Indian love. We could've had an amazing life...what a team. Even just being around each other we could tell that we belonged together. But whoever ends up marrying him will get the shaft. I just couldn't do it....

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  41. Anceeta,

    Although I was never in a relationship with an Indian man, I was engaged to an Arab American man (Christian) and I do see some similarities in the culture. They both seem to be collectivist societies which I did not notice until we were engaged. You can say I was in love and had those pink rosy glasses on the whole time. He was born and raised in the states, very educated, lived on his own, I had no idea his parents had such control over him until the engagement.

    After the engagement he changed and became very critical, controlling and lying. He cared to much about his families opinion of me, telling me I needed to change and act certain ways around them. I never seemed to be good enough for their son no matter how hard I tried to make him happy. Did he try as much to make me happy - NO, he was too selfish! I was the one who had to do all the compromising in the relationship.

    While I was open to learning and embracing his culture, there comes to a point where they needed to realize that I am not Arab and I will never be. They should've been happy about me being so open minded about their culture. However, I am not going to follow their cultural "rules" 100% as I was not brought up that way and besides, we live in the States. Most importantly, I cannot change most of who I am to be who they want me to be! There came to a point where I was starting to lose my identity and my self esteem. I was having doubts about our marriage and our engagement ultimately ended.

    I am now dating an American as well who compromises and cares about my feelings and knows my worth. I feel so much better about myself. I do not feel like I have to appease his family, I can be myself and they do not judge me. I have built my self esteem back up and have come to the conclusion that it was his loss. He had a girl who would have done almost anything to make him happy.

    I wish him good luck in finding a girl who meets his family's criteria but I doubt any other American girl with a backbone will actually stay in this kind of relationship. No American girl would be o.k with having their feelings always second best to momma's. I ended up telling him that he should just marry an arab girl, that's what his mom wants. He said that he doesn't want that.. He will probably be single for the rest of his life, well actually he already is married, to momma. BTW, I do love my parents. Don't think that American's don't listen to their parents.. we just do not let them control our lives and our relationships.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for writing this. I also would have done just about anything to make my Indian fiancé happy and prosperous. I was ready to sell my house and give him all the equity for his future mission. At one point after our break up I told him he should completely release me (in his heart) and that he should find a nice Indian girl. This totally crushed him, and he said, "No, don't ever say that, please!!"

      I am flabbergasted that this wonderful man who loved me so deeply could not even TRY to come a little way across the cultural bridge. All the responsibility to cross the cultural barrier was on my shoulders. In his case, too, I wonder if he'll ever marry. In his culture a lot of shame is involved in breaking an engagement, and since his family is so steeped in tradition, he may never marry now. As much as my heart longs to communicate with him once in a while, for both our sakes I've cut all communication.

      Oh, and, while in the relationship, I, too was losing my identity and self esteem. I was being eroded away without even realizing it. Now I pray God brings me a nice man who has the perspective of considering his wife's needs and that "oneness" is between husband and wife and not mother and son.

      I also love my family and listen to them. It is very important to me that they like and approve of a potential mate. Family loves me more than any one and they have only my best interest in mind. I repeat, They have MY best interest in mind--NOT THEIRS. Family is there to love and guide, not own and control.

      Delete
    2. That's for responding. I love blogs like this because it feels good to relate to other people who have been in a similar situation. Although I can talk to my family, they do not fully understand what I went through.

      It's interesting that both our ex's don't want someone from their own culture. That would make their family happy and they wouldn't have to worry about molding the girl. If anyone could give insight, that would be great.

      While breaking an engagement in arab culture is not unheard of, divorcing is looked down upon and frankly doesn't happen within the christian community. They'd rather stay in an unhappy relationship than "look bad". It is all about looking good in front of others.

      As noted in the article above, the "men" will always side with their mother, no matter if she is in the right or wrong. They care about their mother's opinion and feeling over the wife. I was coming to realize that there would be no leave and cleave if I stayed with him. Without leaving and cleaving, a relationship is doomed for failure unless the wife is ok with having no say, control, feelings, self respect and dignity.

      I also thought they would be more accepting and open minded because they proclaim to be so religious. Instead, they would go to church passing judgements on other family members, it became so hypocritical. When they started passing judgements on me and criticizing me for the most ridiculous things, it was over.

      I thought I was going to marry a loving, accepting christian family. What I got was a critical, controlling and judgmental family.

      Delete
    3. Yep, there would've been no leaving and cleaving for my guy either. So sad, but it just means my heart and life are now open for the right man. It's wonderful that you are now in an affirming and validating relationship. Another confirmation that ending the other relationship was the right choice.

      Delete
    4. Yes, there is someone who is a better fit for you out there. You being so open minded and devoted in relationships are qualities that any man should be happy to find in someone. It took me a long time to realize this, but it is his loss. If the engagement period was this troublesome, imagine how the marriage would be.

      I'm taking this as a learning experience. While it is good to be open minded, it is imperative to go into a relationship with eyes wide open, especially in intercultural relationships.

      Delete
    5. Thanks so much for that encouragement. Sometimes the Lord allows great heartache in order to refine us and make us like gold. I do think a marriage to my ex fiancé would have been utter aloneness and sadness. I am much more aware now about intercultural relationships. Because I don't want to put limits on God, I won't rule out the possibility, but it would have to be SO obvious that the man is the right one--he would have to pass lots of tests from my family and from my church family. May God richly bless you always.

      Delete
  42. i had a piece of shit indian man customer come into my engraving store 5 minutes before closing time, literally demanding that he orders a bunch of shit and get it within 5 minutes, and asking for a discount.
    it takes about 2 hours.

    Indian men are rude, disgusting, filthy subhumans. I'm not some indian bitch you can talk down to just because I am female. fucking prick.

    ReplyDelete
  43. We blame people for being biased on the basis of gender, region, religion etc... but after reading this post I think it is a biased article about how Indian men are. It is an opinion which is based on your experience with the limited no. of Indian Men u have met in your life. But I must tell you something. I am a girl who is born and brought up in India. My father had treat me and my sister like a princess. My father belongs to a small town in UP but then moved to city due transferable jobs. Still, in-spite of spending most of his years in not so big metro cities he has the ultimate respect for women. Not only this, I am an independent women today who is working in the men oriented technical side Aviation Industry. But trust me the kind of respect and equality I have received from my peers just denies ur theory completely. So i'll suggest that do come and spend few years in India before forming you opinion and stop talking about the stuff which majorly was a part some 20-30 years ago. I agree that still some brats exists who matches your theory but isnt it the case around the globe. Everywhere in the world you can find such men. So it would be totally unjustified and wrong to target Indian Men in particular.

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    Replies
    1. So all those cases of domestic violence, female infanticide and foeticide, child marriage, child abuse, rapes, molestations, sexual harrassment, honour killings, dowry etc. are just urban myths? I've lived in India for 8 years (5 in a small village and 3 in Bangalore). I know what I am talking about. It is not biased. It is the truth. If it's bitter, I am sorry that I do not sugarcoat it to your liking.

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    2. No they are not urban myths but there are also many good things about India and many not so good things in the West. Having grown up in India and lived for nearly 30 years in the West working in areas like domestic violence and child abuse I do know what I am talking about.

      Delete
  44. Hi,

    Actually as an Indian male, i agree with what you said. But I just wanted to tell you that the new coming generation have changed dramatically. They are not the indians you have described them. In fact some of us are kind-hearted, loving people. i am not trying to praise myself but just stating the obvious fact, not all Indian men are like this. Only the ones who have migrated from India will most likely be the way you described in the post. The ones who have lived their childhood here in America will be very different.

    Thanks!

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    Replies
    1. Not if they live under their parents thumb and control who still have that mindset!

      Delete
  45. Thanks so much for sharing this, Anceeta! I have yet to meet an Indian man who has treated me with respect. I even dated one for a while. He ended up being emotionally abusive, and when I tried to tell some mutual friends about it (also Indian men), they dismissed the situation and even threatened to testify against me if I sought counseling for him. I couldn't believe it, after how feminist they claimed to be, they were condoning abuse! Not only that, but practically every Indian guy who I didn't know has sexually harassed me, once it was even during a physician's appointment. The only contact I had with any of these men were in professional settings, and it still led to sexual harassment. I honestly believe that Indian men CANNOT and SHOULD NOT be trusted. They're all abusive, either by being an abuser themselves or condoning abusive behavior.

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    Replies
    1. It's ridiculous! I have been sexually harassed by men on the road and groped in public transportation almost every day I lived in India. I was molested as a child by an Indian. They are abusive (emotionally and physically) and treat women as objects. We aren't treated as humans with feelings. Most Indian men marry not to gain a wife, a partner but a maid who you do not need to pay.

      Delete
  46. Wow, this is by far the most ignorant article I have ever read. And the author defends her point like her life depends on it. Indian men are not arrogant or dominating at all. Mostly the kind of things you see in an Indian household does not bother Indian women. They don't mind cooking for their family, in fact they find it fulfilling. That's what our mothers teach us. Today India is totally different from what you are describing. But there are certain things that we Indian women are proud to hold on to. We believe its a wife's duty to hold the family together and see to it that they are all well fed. But if our husband happens to be an arrogant self obsessed asshole, we know how to deal with him as well. To be frank most Indian men are more caring and protective of their family than men from any other country. Today its nothing new for Indian men to help in the kitchen or cleaning or any other household work. They have a much higher IQ and understanding of a women's mind than the retards I have had a chance work with. What's more, they are always ready to take up the entire financial burden by themselves if their wives decide to quit her job. Which I rarely see in the western world. You should really think about how hurtful it is to the society you are demeaning with your article. People who do not know about India (which includes you) or Indian culture or the preferred role that Indian women want to play in their family (most of them, because here we know career is till you retire and family is till you die) should write about world peace like beauty pageant winners do. Men here know what it is to be the man in the family and what example he should set for his kids. Women here are inherently taught about how fulfilling and challenging raising a family is. That's why our kids take care of us when we grow old and not leave us alone in an old age home to die. You my dear are not an Indian. If you were then this would make more sense to you. Here women and men are ready to sacrifice for their kids and your kids will take care of you and pay you back for all the sacrifices when you grow old. There are women who consider their career to be the priority. If they have been honest about it when they got married, I don't think men will force them against it. Even if they weren't honest, the worst ending typically is a divorce. We have equality in gender in India. Its not like anyone can force women to stay home and do what her husband wants. We do it by our own choice if and when we think its best for the family. There are households in places like Kerala where men voluntarily sacrifice bright careers to look after the kids, because his wife got a better job that requires travelling. Just google Kerala more to life than GDP and see the facts for yourself. And please don't claim whatever you have written to be true and expect people to take your word for it. Furnish some proof, state some facts. I read your article and I find it to be written by a girl who had some bad experiences with a couple of men in India.
    Saroja Sunil

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    1. First of all, everything you write implies that women are inferior to men and that if men are being nice, they are doing women a favour and that is something great that they are doing. Have you met any Indian men? If you did, you would not say "Indian men are not arrogant or dominating at all."

      Yes, the things that happen in Indian households do not bother Indian women because they are taught to accept it. They are taught it is normal. No one tells them that they deserve better. You do what your mothers teach you and your mothers were taught by your grandmothers... Basically, it's kept as a patriarchal society and women are TOLD and TAUGHT to compromise, learn to cook, clean and basically be a doormat. You are absolutely right! And you think it's okay that women should be content living in their husbands' shadows?

      How many countries have you lived in to say that Indian men are better than any other men from anywhere else?

      When you say "Today its nothing new for Indian men to help in the kitchen or cleaning or any other household work.", you sound so surprised and grateful! Hello! They live in that house, eat food there! They SHOULD help in doing 50% of the housework! It's not a favour they are doing!

      Yes, they do take the position of the breadwinner and always make the wife feel that because he is the one earning, she should be bloody grateful and kiss his shoes. This is in EVERY Indian household (and other countries too) where the man is the sole breadwinner.

      I don't know about India? Being sexually molested at 3, groped on public transportation for 3 years almost daily, eve teased on my way to school, having Indian parents, living in an Indian society and having lived in India for 8 years, I don't know Indians? Who are you to tell me what I do and do not know?

      I am sorry if you need someone to take care of you when you are old. Be self sufficient and do not bother your children when you get old. Let them make their own lives without you being a burden on them.

      You calling me "not an Indian" is the greatest compliment! I HATE Indians!

      GENDER EQUALITY in India? You really are delusional, aren't you? Rapes, molestations, sexual harassment, female infanticide, female foeticide etc. sound like gender equality to you? Heard about honour killings? Women being burnt alive because they didn't get enough dowry? Women are not forced by their families, husbands or in-laws? Please read some news and broaden your mind.

      YOU show me some facts. Tell me where it shows that Indian men are better than any other men from any other country? Where's the proof for gender equality? Where's the proof that your kids will take care of you when you are old? Where is the proof that women have a choice?

      I find your comment absolutely naive. Some lady from god knows where who has no clue what goes on in the Indian society and has Stockholm syndrome gives her opinion.

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  47. This is so true!!!! I am a white woman and was married to an Indian man for 5 years. It was hell on earth. Most Indian men physically abuse their wives too. Anyway, I'm glad to be moving on. I have 2 beautiful children from the marriage and if my daughter ever comes home with an Indian man I will go mad!!!!

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  48. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  49. Hi Anceeta!
    Spot on! Everything you said here is Abso-fucking-lutely TRUE!!! I used to date an indian guy, he's the most selfish, self-centered beast i've ever known in my entire life.. Not to mention he's a liar and a number one user! Glad I ditched the bastard!

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  50. I agree on this 100% good article

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  51. good article indian man are asshole oh no they worse

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  52. Oh girlie, I am getting a kick of all these Indian men irked. Guys whats the matter? Are you jealous that Indian women are rejecting you for other races. Maybe if you werent assholes, it wouldnt be a problem. You are losing out.

    Let me tell you my story, I was born abroad and never lived in India. Since I grew up away from my culture, I was curious and wanted to date an Indian and fascinated by arranged marriage. In no time I quickly CHANGED MY MIND! All the men I dated wee immature, self-centered assholes. Glad I ditched them.

    My goodness, the behavior and attitudes of men are disgusting!!! It's exactly what you described. Even the new generation is no different. Rude, selfish, possessive, disrespectful to women especially their wives, and just immature, narcissistic assholes. I cant stand it.

    I prefer any race but Indian and middle eastern. I am very tall for an Indian woman. I'm 5'7 and most Indian guys are too short for me.

    Plus, only when I started going to Indian functions I noticed the BS of our culture: superiority complex, rudeness, gossip, cliquishness and stupidity. There is a way to converse and share views without making the other person feel stupid.

    The worst is the racist attitudes. I dont get why Indians come to the USA and then only stick to themselves and judge other races. I hang out with people of other races and open-minded Indians. I've often heard that they were curious about Indians, culture, and so on but many Indians are cliquish and rude. A friend of mine is a guy who works in an IT industry with many Indian men. He also tells me he cannot stand Indian men either as a guy and wouldnt want to hang out with them.

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    1. Are you my lost sister? You have put my thoughts into words! I agree with everything you have said! So glad that you didn't have an arranged marriage and then realise the truth behind them all.

      Thanks for reading!

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  53. Holy crapola batman! Continue to set the truth free Anceeta. - A Fellow Supporter

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  54. This is a nice blog...

    I have been single for 1 year now. Missed the bitching :P

    Thanks for reminding me that it's good to be single....

    Cheers!!!

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  55. I am an Indian guy currently residing in Bahrain.....ah wait.....you don't date Indians! I will pass you then...1 less girl in 3 billion, big deal ;)

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    1. I rejected you even before you read this post. Who are you to "pass" me? LOL

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  56. Indian men and all that apart, you have one razor sharp tongue. May god help the poor guy who will decide to spend his life with you. Thank god there are still elegant, gentle and sweet ladies in this world.

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    1. Because I stand up for my rights and voice my opinions I am not elegant? Only an Indian, sexist asshole would say that. I am not a doormat and will never shut up when men abuse me.

      Nobody asked you to marry me, so please fuck off.

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    2. She's just speaking up for herself; she's still elegant, gentle, and sweet toward men who deserve it. Every time an Indian man replies on here, it just proves her point even further; women are viewed as second-class citizens by Indian men. Their emotions and experiences mean absolutely nothing to Indian men. (I have PLENTY of personal experience with this myself.) This is exactly why so many women don't want to marry Indian men. Where I'm from, there are millions of young men who will not only treat an Indian woman as a true equal, they find Indian women to be some of the most beautiful women in the world! Just remember, with the gender ratio being so unbalanced, Indian society has already made it extremely difficult for you to find a wife. Don't make it even harder for yourself by being a misogynist on top of that.

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    3. God! you both are just too much. How much do you know me to say that I am a misogynist or will find it difficult to get love!

      I did not find Anceeta's reply constructive but I see that you are willing to talk in a civilized way so let's go ahead.

      Don't mean to brag here, but I am an avid traveler who has lived in over 12 countries across 4 continents. Both the gender have issues with each other in each of the country I visited, we both are from different planets eh?

      Smart women AND men know how to live a good life with respect. I know a couple of girls married to North Americans and they miss being with an Indian guy who is not practical all the time and is not like a wall to talk to!

      I am myself with a Spaniard with over 3 years now, she is amazing and loving and she does not like Spanish guys! Guess what else? She tells me all the time that romance and love is lost in Europe, most guys are assholes (see the similarity?).

      I suggest Miss Anceeta speak for herself rather than taking the burden of the entire female fraternity, most of which is definitely unlike her.

      Last but not the least, Miss Anceeta I see that you are very happy NOT to be called an Indian. Most foreigners will laugh their ass off that statement and label you a coward who is not willing to change her country but ready to be treated like a second class citizen in other countries and actually you're actually proud of that!

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    4. My reply wasn't constructive because you basically asked me to be a doormat. It's sad to see that no matter where Indian go, no matter how much they travel, Indians will remain Indians. You are right: "Indian guy who is not practical all the time"

      If you found a Spanish doormat, congratulations!

      Indians women aren't like me that's why they are suffering.

      You are an imbecile if you think others will "laugh their ass off" because I can't change 1.3 BILLION people single-handedly. And don't make me question your sanity further when you ASSUME that I am treated like a second class citizen. Too bad that other countries made you feel like their second class citizen. Maybe it was your Indian attitude.

      Lastly, I do not give a fuck about what foreigners say about me. LOL. Typical Indian thing to care about "what others think/say".

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    5. Sweetheart I know you will have a fantastic life licking ass of some smart white guy who will wipe his ass and throw you. And you're right, you're not second class but a third class citizen. What a jerk case! LOL

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    6. "Anonymous", your misogynist attitudes are quite obvious. Instead of being sympathetic toward the bad experiences all of us women on here have had, you act like we're all delusional. IGNORANCE is the reason Indian women are still treated in the awful manner they are being treated by Indian men. In my experience, Indian men band together to protect another man's bad behavior toward women, and that's what I see happening here as well. Reading all these comments from Indian men is making me begin to hate them now, too.

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    7. Sarina, frustrated women hate various kinds of men across the globe depending on their experiences. Ever seen the tons 40 something single mothers driving big cars in the states and going to latin america to satisfy their sexual urges and travelling to Asia to find happiness? They too have given up their unrealistic expectations about love. You have given up men from just one country right now, looking at your attitude, I can assure you more countries are lined up.

      IMPORTANT: Men and women are the same across the globe, some assholes, some nice, some bitching maniacs (like the blogger) some frustrated like you and others always smiling/happy like me & my sweetheart :P

      PS: I post as Anonymous because I don't want my Identity to influence how people understand my opinion.

      Also, take one advice, the more bitch you are while selecting guys, the more asshole types you attract. Because the nice guys will not have the balls to pursue you. So stop being a bitch, or whatever slim chances you have of being with nice guys will be over :/

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    8. Dude, calm your tits. You are getting too defensive. As if you know we are right but don't want to accept it. Anyway. Don't assume we hate men. I love men! But I hate INDIAN men. I've been in the best relationship ever for the past three years. And he is the most nicest, amazing person and we have been blissfully happy (fyi). BUT I find nothing wrong in women in their huge cars having sex with Latin guys. It's their choice. Kudos to them for not settling for guys like you!

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    9. You messed with the wrong man sweetie. I specialize in defending men against bitches :D

      Anyway, I am super calm sweetie, but I don't see any tits on you. Lost them somewhere?

      Relationship with a bitch like you? LOL Either he is a loser who can't find better girls OR He is just interested in fuck and ditching you later, which is what bitches like you deserve and actually already have been through eh?

      Anyway, GIVE UP your Indian Passport, you don't deserve it if you hate to be called Indian! WALK YOUR TALK!

      Go begging to some other country for residency, chase and marry some western guy. They are known to take the less privileged ass-licking Asian girls to west because their girls are sometimes worse than you. But they may use you a lot before one of them decides to gift you his country's citizenship. Sadly many Thai, Indonesians, Filipinos are already doing that, we will make a new category "Indian Bitches" :) No wonder most of my american friends say that they feel like a king in Asia with all the bitches trying to seduce them. Hurry!! start hunting!!

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    10. It's not the nationality I have a problem with, it's the way I've been treated by all except one Indian man in my lifetime, and I've known many. Funny thing is the one Indian man I'm friends with, (I mean we're VERY, VERY close, we tell each other pretty much everything) constantly complains about the way he sees other Indian men treating women. And honestly, if he ever wanted a romantic relationship, I'd be stupid to turn him down. I feel that way because he RESPECTS me, which is something you obviously don't. Who are you to call us names?! Do you really think you're helping change our mind about Indian men? Also, I have MANY, many wonderful nice guys pursue me, but I'm very focused on my career right now, so I don't want a relationship at all at this point. Another thing, I am not attracted to white guys, so don't act like this is about race.

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    11. Oh wow. You not only hate me for speaking up but have such a demeaning attitude towards Thai, Indonesian and Filipino ladies. Thank you for proving that everything I wrote above is true. :)

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    12. Anceeta , Thank you for this awesome blog post , i think it wonderful what you are doing and i fully support you! I'm a guy from Canada but my parents are from the middle east. I work here in Canada and am involved in fundraisers for women rights and the support of abused women. People like anonymous is whats wrong with society these days.

      When i hear stories like this my heart goes out to all those women who are treated like that i just cant stand it.

      I am currently married and i adore my wife , i would never even think to lay a hand on her , i treat her better than i treat myself.I have friends who tell me that im spoiling her and that i should be assertive and tough with her , as far as those guys go they can all F**k themselves. The reason i treat her so good is this ( She deserves every right , every opportunity ,every smile , every sense of comfort that anyone else gets , if not more!) Who am i to be her boss? Im nobody. When my wife wants to do something , for example get a new job or go to start a project or move to a new house i support her 100% and when i do she gets happy and does an amazing job. My point is when women are treated very well and given opportunities they can excel just as well or better than any man ive ever met.

      I go to work, i provide a living for my family , i make my wife very happy .One of the good outcomes of this is i can pass this attitude on to my future son(s) and daughter(s), and slowly a change will be made and hopefully they can influence people to treat women better.

      I've heard allot of stories about India and its problem with abuse towards females. In the Womens abuse shelter were i work , i have actually met a number of Indian women who have stories are all similar to your blog post. The way they are treated is inhumane , and its not just physical damage that these men put on these poor women , its mental as well , some of the women i work with have no confidence at all , some feel like they deserve it.WRONG!WRONG! Your 100% right and i applaud you for raising this issue hopefully people can read it and make a change.

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    13. Sarina even though you agree with that. I know its none of my business but I really do hope that you and your friend do become a couple if he respects you and you like him. Please understand we are not all bad people we can change and we will. I know a lot of men yes near enough the majority are treating girls badly but the actions of those men are spoiling it for the rest believe me there, I would love to marry an Indian girl but because of the propaganda out there against Indian men I know this is a pipe dream now. I know you can't see but the blogger is racist plain and simple, she is not Indian she is working for the media trying to make the situation worse and making more women turn against men

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    14. Moe it is the lack of education, boys don't know right from wrong you might disagree but it is true. I am not defending the bad ones but men in India do need to be taught how to respect women only then there can be change simply shaming them and humiliating them is only going to make the situation worse. I want men and women to be equal but its not going to happen if women hate men and men hate women. You have a positive attitude and I hope you and your wife live a blessed life

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  57. sounds like this bloger ancceta screwed by mostly indians guy,now she found herself guilty!!!!give arab mans some time they show you they r better then indian mans.and yes they dont mind if u date wth scores of mens at a time cause they r broad minded mens not like indians mama boys who prefer one partner at a time.and yes u r writing very blog,to short them just write u hate indians they r jerks assholes thats it.

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  58. I agree with everything the author wrote here. I am non-Indian and dated an educated Indian guy for several months. I wish read this blog before I got involved. Indian men are players, users, liars, and lousy in the romantic department. The will never respect women because they have big egos.

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  59. your a really spiteful person and if you do have Indian background which I doubt, its no wonder things are going to get worse for both genders in India. If more Indian girls become like you with a selfish and spineless attitude which is already happening and you cannot deny that, then god help those who do decide to settle down with you. It will lead to a divorce anyway lol. Hate me as much as you like I don't care the only comfort to me is that not all Indian girls are like you. Don't misunderstand me I have nothing against women the most inspirational people in my life are women and they would never hate as much as you do. I can see the hatred in you and its so raw it baffles me. I know you not a fan of Ghandi him being Indian and all but remember the weak can never forgive only the strong can forgive and you are not strong me thinks. One last thing before you post abuse back to me, It's obvious you are a western feminist which country do you work for the US or the UK

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    1. Whichever country I work for, they do not rape me, harass me or think that I should be submissive and a doormat.

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    2. LOL US and UK have one of the highest Rape per 100,000 people. The Indian media has blown the facts to the size of Burj Khalifa. The blogger is a naive and dumb, who blindly follows the media.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics

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    3. Wikipedia? That's your source.

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    4. My advice to everyone is do not feed the troll because she will keep biting ignore her and she will get bored she's the middle person for someone anyway

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    5. Yeah, surely she's spineless Mr. Anonymous. I'm glad that more and more girls are becoming like her (educated and independent). Being an Indian I am very well aware of what our great Indian background teaches us of how women should be, docile like a cow and blah and blah, so assholes can exploit them and they aren't allowed to protest, discouraged when they seek divorce by moronic traditionalists like you.

      And I am not a westerner, I live in India and have met only a handful of guys who are not assholes. If you consider yourself a nice guy then why don't you recognize and accept the flaws in our culture and try to improve the condition as Gandhi did? You are proud that we don't understand the concept of feminism? Shame.

      Its not about being low in rape satistics, its about raping minor girls and hanging them on the tree, its about the dirty and corrupted mindset towards women that we (huge majority of indian males) possess and refuse to accept, which ''quite surprisingly'', benefits only male elitists. It hurts even if a single human is illtreated, and you are LoLing that we are below US and UK in some random rape satistics? Don't you have the slightest of idea that tons of rape cases go unreported because everyone in our society including policemen and politicians are insensitive chauvinist retards, and women in rural areas are largely uneducated and helpless!

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  60. Hey Anceeta, I'm an indian teen living in Australia and seem to be conscious about the sexist behaviour throughout India and to be honest, in my very home. It IS very difficult to walk hand in hand with typical Indian guys with their "Bollywood" fantasies. Just dropped a comment to say LOVE YOUR BLOG :D My Italian gf, Isabelle enjoyed reading it after me and thank goodness... she told me I was nothing like it :P Thanks YOU for putting it straight to the face for so many ^.^

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  61. Hey i love u gal....i met dis Indian man in my class....but lol m Indian too but from Fiji ...he is from India....he was stuck wid a unit as he failed and asked for my help......i sed ya.....the next day ,he told me to come over to his galfren's place and help him and his galfren who also failed d unit..... LIKE HE ORDERED ME TO COME....like he had no freaking courtesy to ask me how will i come?....WILL I COME BY CAB, CAR OR WALK DOWN??....like all this time he was flirting wid me and did not say that he had a galfren......i sed no i can't ........Can u bilive love ,dis ashole indian guy used to text and col me almost everyday !!!.....when i sed no he stopped altogether.....like i wonder what kind of a human-being is dis son of a bitch??!!!.........my elder sister got mad at me and told me to concentrate on my studies first and stop helping ashole students....esp the ones from India .....so i have promised myself , thats what i am going to do from now onwards....i mean the fucken teachers are earning 50K so y shud i help some students who r weak???....I GET NOTHING BEK!!!....who knws i mite get worst treatment !!!....so my frens, in 2014 just help people who help u ....plus i think people from India have no manners man ....abs no manners !!!!

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    1. Agreed. Most Asians don't have the words "please", "thank you" and "sorry" in their dictionary. I've realized this over a billion times in my own dad... he NEVER used the 3 and just for a joke, can be quite racist at times which really disgusts me :\

      As for that indian guy... he.. well Definitely isn't worth going after. May sound like a cliché, but there'll be countless guys with various personalities. You need someone that respects you for who you are and so go after those that value your support and friendship... not like that weirdo who in my point of view was trying to use you.

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  62. Hi, Anceeta! You're really cute, but anyway, I'm an Indian guy and I can see where you're coming from. I was born and raised in Canada, so I'm a little upset that you say ALL Indian men are like this. I can tell you for a fact, no one in my household acts like this period. I'm not saying this doesn't happen in India, but it's a little disappointing that you'd paint all brown skinned man with this stigma. Anyhow, I'm not saying there's no truth to this. And I still think your cute :)

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  63. Hi Anceeta!! I am an Indian girl and well since I found mostly Indian males replying to your post thought I can add to your viewpoint...Im not saying your wrong completely but you cannot simply defend your perspective just for the sake it...men all around the world are the same...if your blaming indian men...well you should go over middle eastern countries or africa for that matter....the situation is there even worse. Even in western countries, men indirectly are more dominating...but since they tend not to pronounce their feelings they eventually fall to infidelity...and so increased divorces in west.Whereas in India, things have become better to what you have portrayed but people try to stay loyal to each other...yes differences lie...but indian men comes with the baggage of their family unlike in west...but there's not enough to blame them. But india has improved...girls here have more freedom than before and maybe after a certain point of time we will strike a balance which I personally believe is impossible to achieve if you wish to have a secure life...as too much freedom can spoil people at times.

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  64. The previous poster has a point. The type of misogynistic behavior she's describing is not unique to India, but can be found in most poverty-stricken societies where gender norms tend be to backward because they reflect the lack of economic agency that handicaps women. Anyone who doesn't belief me should google the ongoing rape epidemic in the Congo or the still flourishing practice of female infanticide in China.

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  65. I couldnt believe this idiotic post had these many comments.
    This is so true in 1970's. But in 2014, never seen or heard thus asshole.

    Shut the fucking blabbering and live in real world. Tired of this bullshit stories.
    I come from a village and even my father-mother never had the issues you are talking.

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  66. Ur nt cmpletely rght ..but yes i agree with u.cozour culture is misinterpreted by us..itshw ur surrondings teach us..to strt bcmng kings of womens..its like a man can sleep with 100s n if a women sleeps with at all50s shes a slut while t mqn is a stud..thts he fcking these indian mentality is..i m an indian n i cn understnd..girls r nt allowed to move out aftr 10 pm coz thy might b raped but guys arent taught to rspct girls ...bloody

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  67. I totally agree. I am an Indian women as well &I am SO frustrated with how they treat women! I see this a lot in Punjabi men. I want a relationship where my thoughts and feelings are taken in consideration. They always compare you to someone else, never make you their number one lady. Oh well.I doubt I will be marrying one either #nofucksgiven #theirloss

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  68. I think it has more to with the Indian culture. It is a patriarchal society. Yes I agree that in Indian society, women are not treated at par with men in 99.999% of the population . Indian society is still rather primitive with lot of Moral policing about proper behavior. There is a behavior code laid out for women...... it is a society were horrible practice such as SATI - where women burn herself at the death of her husband, was prevalent.
    Indian society is just a few steps ahead of the Arab world and decades behind the west. I have lot of friends who have studied MS in USA, but they still have this expectations of Moral behavior from their wives. For. e.g. they cannot imagine their wife being kissed on cheek by a male colleague to greet her....which is a very normal gesture in West.
    But I think that as Indian women are becoming more educated and independent, Indian men have to change their attitude towards women. But it all rolls down to the society and the upbringing of the Indian male.
    I'm a Indian male born and brought up in Mumbai and living in Germany. Certainly women here are totally independent and can live as a single. A women will be HARASSED by the sick INDIAN SOCIETY if she decides to stay SINGLE beyond 30's. MORAL POLICING of Indian society will kick in. I cannot imagine to see in India a girl dating more than 2-3 guys during her life. In west nobody cares whatever you do whether you date 10 or 20 guys.

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  69. im an indian..picking a rotten apple from a basket full of apples doesnt make any sense that each apple is not good.being judgmental for a single person is fine but for the whole people...i dont think so.
    i agree with you at some point but not at all indian men are same like that.keep writing.



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  70. Hilarious to the core .... looks like we need a new american visa for indian women who hate Indian men lol

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  71. You just said what i wanted to say... you are great and right! <3 Like, Plus, Tweet & Share!

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  72. Let me tell you one major thing that is missing out. A girl gets married whose husband is treating her bad, has a son and then treat her son like prince. Has a daughter and treats her like the unwanted kid. The daughter gets married, treated crap by her husband and has a son and treats the son like prince and her sibling gets married, treats his wife like crap and treats his son like prince and daughter like doormats. Do you see where things are going wrong? It is the mother is responsible for it all. THE WOMAN. ALL WOMEN. All women in the family who accepts insults, torture, teasing, violence, etc. Therefore, of course the man will show they are in power. Shout at your own mother and get that sorted. Remind her that she treats her own daughter like doormat, servant; remind her that you are the unwanted child. Moan at your brother that he is liked and she is not. Tell everyone how much you hate being a girl. Shout at your father and mother for failing to produce the son they hoped for, ask them why they kept you alive especially after finding that the mother delivered a girl? DO IT. IF EVERYONE DOES IT, OVER GENERATIONS THIS WILL CHANGE. In Punjab, due to failing to provide a lot of dowry to the guy, families started to kill girls after they were born. What happened 20 years later? All guys family had to pay dowry to marry a Punjabi girl. They were pretty rear for a while.

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  73. It is still true nowadays. I came across one guy who expected his wife to bring a friend while she was pregnant and until she was ready to sleep with him again. And she did. My boyfriend is Indian and he requested the same and I replied, you either accept your child as your child and properly respect me, otherwise I will take it to Ganges and drown it because the child is not worth living.

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  74. Wow this adds up with what my new other half she is Desi and I am a gora I noticed once that her ex flicked Cigarette ash in the bathroom sink whilst taking a shit the scum bag.!!!
    He had another women and two kids on the side for twenty years although my girlfriend nursed his mum right until the end. She had a enough and is now with me no wonder she wanted a gora.She also said Indian men show no affection to women.He lived in the house for free and took the rent of the other house she paid for !!!Shame what a dick because Shima my girlfriend is bright and beautiful and has a good job and has done well and that is how he treated her the parasite. I am seeing more and more desi women with Gora guys and good luck to them.Neil UK

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    1. Wow , I've seen a white woman say the same about her ex white husband

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  75. I don't know how Dr Lawrence did it,but he did it. My woman came back within 4 days after Dr Lawrence did the Win Ex Back Love Spell for me. She finally dumped the other man. She said she couldn't stop thinking about me. She said she was thinking about me everyday NON-STOP! I still can't believe it. I wish I found Dr Lawrence earlier before I paid so much money to other sites .We are indeed grateful for all your help contact him on his email drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com

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  76. Alright let me clear some shit up here. Have any of you all ever been to Trinidad? I'm Trini Indian but I'm not pure Indian, (my greatgrandma was from Venezuela). People say I look Latino but I claim Indian. The largest ethnic group there is the East Indians or your regular Indians. Now some Indian guys there, not all, have a mentality described in your post Anceeta. But THE MAJORITY of them break all stereotypes. Indians here party alot, ALOT (because of the Jamaican party culture thing and dancehall artistes like Vybz Kartel and Mavado). Indian girls love to "whine" on Indian guys' ******* in parties. Indians in Trinidad love to party and drink and sadly, sleep around. In the largest university, the University of the West Indies Indian guys and girls behave very very badly. Mostly smoking marijuana and drink lotsa alcohol. Believe me some Indian guys look like whites. Women in Trinidad are only bound to men by financial ties NOTHING ELSE. Trini Indian girls are exceptionally smart and many of them become doctors and don't need a Indian man to mind them. I respect women of all races. Almost all Indians are westernized. Even the really beautiful white girls go for Indian guys and the really exceptionally hot Indian girls get Indian guys and white guys. We are a melting pot of cultures. Almost everyone here's mixed. Thank God I was born in sweet sweet Trinidad and not the US or India.

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  77. I like your views and few thousand women like you would increase our country's divorce rates :P

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  78. All of you who are do not agree with this post are surely living under a rock!
    I agree that this post does take alot of things to an extreme but sadly they all are true!
    How can you not see?
    The words of the ex-minister of U.P were "Boys make mistakes.. *galti ho jaati hai* they shouldnt be punished for rape"
    The advice given to us indian women to reduce the chanced of getting sexually haressed are "girls shouldnt go out after 7 pm without a male accompanying her" "she should beg her molester to stop" " girls should be married at 16" "Women should be punished,hanged dor getting raped"
    AND I AM QUOTING THE LEADERS OF MY COUNTRY! The members of our parliament!
    This is a place where every year on a specific day I'm suppose to touch the feet of my husband.. "karwachaut" im sure all the Indians living here know about that festival. I AM EQUAL TO HIM NOT BELOW HIM. And if you tell me that "it's just a tradition" well.. I would demand then that he touches my feet too.. And surely he should starve himself just like I am expected to do on that day!
    Jesus can't even imagine a life with an Indian male! I personally like to call them pigs.

    All those who's fathers are working in a government job in india will have to agree with the writers comment bout how the wife always has to move when her husband gets a job transfer. And sadly after every 2 years I see it happen in my own house!

    The woman has to be home before her husband gets back from work! Why? Because she has to cook him food and feed him like a 12 year old kid who just got back from school..LIKE SHE JUST WASNT TIRED AFTER WORKING ALL DAY LONG!
    Picking up his clothes, cleaning up after him. She's a human being! Treat her like one!
    And if a guy does do some household work (I'm talking bout even 5% of work) the woman feels so blessed and bows down even more. What women here dont understand is that men ARE SUPPOSE TO HELP YOU it's 50-50! That is what he is OUGHT to do.

    And im not from some village im talking from the national capital region of India. Yes there are happy couples here..where the women are treated in a great way but that makes of only 1% of the 8 billion population.

    Its a full time job living here..yes I'm sure that there are good Indian men out there n im sure many indian women have the dream of marrying their knight in shining armor on a white horse. But I do not. I wish to be in a relationship where my dreams and my wishes are respected, where I am seen as an equal and not assumed to be the cook, the cleaning lady or the nanny of the kids.. The father should put as much effort as me and not just be an ATM machine . If I like doing it.. Sure! But its the "assumed" word im talking bout. I should be more important to him than his family because honestly he has to decide WHO is his other half? me or his family? The man should be ready to stand up for me,with me for when im wronged.
    And sadly i've hardly ever really seen that happen here in India.
    "Incredible India"

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  79. You'll only marry one person . for that you have to write an entire article of men?

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  80. And you know what , don't think this is the first article against men. They are used to it.

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  81. I'm a young Indian woman. I've grown up seeing my father as one who loves me dearly, but as do we all, still a carrier of certain older ways of thinking. In the last twenty years or so since he's left India, he's changed greatly. And yet, we're all conditioned by our surroundings, and it would almost be unreasonable of me to expect him to become exactly as I would like him to. Obviously, as a woman, I do not support any kind of oppression that women still unfortunately face on the basis of their sex. I have studied hard at university and am financially independent, and so, can choose to live largely the life I wish to. Where there is resistance to my emancipation as a woman, however, it is not limited to any ethnicity, nor to any sex either. Indian males may not generally be recipients of a good 'track record', but if I speak frankly, neither are men from other cultural or ethnic backgrounds. And while there continue to be moments of struggle, I do believe there is still hope for change. Labelling an entire class of men from India as villains may not be fair or productive, although I am sympathetic to unpleasant experiences, having experienced them myself. There needs to be both, a striving for self-independence, and an opportunity given to others for change.

    Thank you. :)

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  82. I think what you wrote applies to only some of the indian men who have a very old school thinking of oppressing women .

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  83. I think what you say applies only to some men, not all. Western men aren't all as liberated as they're made out to be, there is plenty of domestic violence and child abuse. I am speaking from 25 years of living in Australia, being married to a working class white guy and working in the areas of domestic violence and child abuse. There was plenty of discrimination against girls in my husband's family in terms of access to education etc., my mother in law even tried to give the women smaller plates: yes all this was quite common in white women of her generation.

    Many of my most supportive friends and relatives are Indian men, and some of the biggest doormats are white women!

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  84. Yo author reply to this comment

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  85. Hi. Interesting article. I am from Nepal, but it is almost all true in case of most Nepali Hindu guys as well. (Nepal is mostly Hindus and Buddhists). In Nepali society, the more upper caste Hindu the family is, the more likely is the female discrimination and the male attitude that you're talking about. I have watched a lot of Indian documentaries and programs on female infanticides, the situation of women in India and such, and although I can say that the case is not as severe in Nepal, I can relate to what you're talking about. Guys being pampered by their mothers who when grown act nothing but coward assholes and such. Basically everything you said, but in a less severe level in Nepal. It's interesting that the South of Nepal which borders India and where people speak language very similar to Hindi, have the worst cases of female discrimination including dowry burning. I believe it is because the area is very conservative and the society allows almost no mingling between opposite sexes prior marriage, which results in men acting perverted towards women. I feel like Indian women are very smart and beautiful, but get treated like doormats like u said, which is really, really sad for a fast-growing country like yours. I wish the Indian women well. Btw, I have a European boyfriend and having dated Nepali men before, it's a pleasant, pleasant change. Can't appreciate enough how vastly different level they are on when it comes to equality :)

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    1. Congratulations of getting a decent boyfriend! :) I have a non-Indian partner as well. He is absolutely amazing.

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  86. dats aboslutely true if this is 1990s.unfortunately 2014.so there are many changes made in india.and its people.you dont have right to offend all men of india like this..by the way ur lines ''giving more financial independence forced me to comment on this bloody fuckin shit are"MEN IN INDIA GIVE MORE PREFERENCE TO MOM INSTEAD OF THEIR PARTNERS& GIVING FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE TO WOMEN....firstly how can a husband and wife relation be much greater than mom and son relation????thats not even 1% of mom and son relation...not only indians.even ur mom and daughter relation is greater than husband & wife relation...in that case a man or woman must respect their mother.so guys do that..ofcourse an exception can be made when the decision taken by mom is wrong..and coming to 2nd point.if women are given financial independence they slowly devolope an feeling of superiority and finally ends up with divorce...its practical example is of my uncle who divorced my aunt in last month as he allowed her to gain more money and gave financial independence opposing his parents. she stopped loving him and started demanding her mother in law to do all the household work who is a heart patient as days passed..before she's given financial independence all of them used to do household work....so i prefer instead of having financial independence to men or women(WHO IS its better to be in hands of a person who is mentally stable enough in both of them).....and in india nobody is forcing a women to leave everything only in the place where her husband moves .thats her wish.but mostly women prefer it to be with their husbands as for the sake of protection..having some metchured breasts and narrow hips indicates ur partially devoloped physical metchurity.but ur mental ability absolutely reduced....indians culture is not that bad that u think.if u hate indians u just stay quiet..dont post this to others like this..u are a norrow minded bitch.culture less creatures get lost.fuck off...fuck word is specially designed for u...u indirectly want any men to be feminine.That's all.men have their ego,so whats bothering you.shut your ass and stay quiet... i am including all the other supporters of this blog too..indian men are the best ones.they follow all the cultural rules..not culture less like u.

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  87. Sadly other topics in the posts are true and i support u...women must be treated equally..i strictly stick to words women and men must b treated equally and i support ur post for dat lines.and sry fr my previous cmnt.i lost my temper seeing the lines ''irrespective of the generation al indian men are same...i oppose this statement..

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  88. That was some rant ! I don't know if you were just letting off some steam or if you really meant all that you wrote. It's really sad if it's the latter. It takes all sorts to make the world , just so you know ,and to create this character "Indian man" as being the prototype of all men from India is the height of ignorance and misdirected rage.

    On a side note my dad is kicked around the house by my mum and most of my distaff cousins are mean bitches who are looking to marry some poor pliable guy and fuck his life up.If I were to come to conclusions based solely upon what I see I'd have to declare to the world that Indian women are heartless bitches who fuck up men's lives just because they've got the pussy.

    PS- You are entitled to your opinions as I am to mine.

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  89. i agree ....i know some indian culture are really un acceptable me myself, i live in Nepal for almost 18 years i have studied in india for almost 8 years from where i noticed that indian man treat their wife like servent ....

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    1. They do think that women are there to have sex with them, take care of the kids and the house.

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  90. Mehhhhh!!! Too much hatred!!! Its like generalizing all white people are psycho killers and all muslims are terrorists. Never mind ignorant people are every where and you are one of them.

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  91. I've had more than one Indian men that I've attempted to be friends with (I said "attempted to be friends with" because their attitudes toward my tendency to speak my mind, as well as a few other factors, hindered the progression of a friendship) have told me - this is a direct quote - "thank n sry dnt exst in frndshp." Is anyone able to explain the thought process behind that way of thinking to me?

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  92. I'm really saddened that you feel this way. I admit, there are many Indian assholes, but I am sure that men of your nationality (which I neither know nor care) aren't all perfect. My parents love each other and my sister and me, and went through such hardship to care for me, BOTH OF THEM, NOT JUST MY MUM. English men used to treat their women just like you have written here, but now most of them don't. It's the same with Indians.

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  93. I can't help but agree with this blog owner's post intent: I feel she's simply trying to provoke a debate on traditional gender roles in Indian society, how it has been silently oppressing Indian women for centuries and has endured even in our present times with no sight of reform. Yes, we have plenty of women-friendly laws in our country but it's like applying bandage on a cancer tumour. As a plurality, Indians are incapable of cultural introspection and fail to understand why things are so badly fucked up in this country in the first place: at the end of the day, we hold on to our 5000 year old civilization as a tolerance justification of barbaric cruelties so deeply embedded in our culture. By being silent, we consent to the status quo. Let's face it, less than 200 years ago, Indian men were chucking widows in their dead husband's funeral pyres until the British East India Company decided to put a stop to it. Today we're still burning brides because their parents failed to bring enough dowry!

    Coming back to the main topic, I would venture to say that most women in India never get to experience REAL freedom that comes from respect as an equal human being: it's a respect that can only be bestowed by the opposite sex. Women in India may dress scantily, have loads of educational degrees, look smart and earn a lot of money but at the end of the day, they better toe the line laid down by a highly chauvinistic and patriarchal society or risk being PERMANENTLY labelled as "sluts". I'm not a woman but I'm sure it's not a very pleasant experience when ALL MEN THINK OF YOU AS EASY, CHEAP AND AVAILABLE. Real harlots and prostitutes have it a lot easier than decent girls who get labelled as TRASH in Indian culture. I call this the "Sita Paradox" which has affected Hindu ethos. In the Ramayana, Rama knew that Sita was innocent and pure but others suspected this woman of infidelity against her husband so she had to baptise herself in fire to prove her virtue.

    Girls in India have nightmares of shame and guilt because if they decide to express themselves in a truly free way contrary to pre-arranged social mores, it would attract so much unwanted attention. A lot of Indian girls tend to be bitches exactly because most Indian men are ASSHOLES: perfect Yin and Yang balance. Many are obnoxious, clingy, gold-diggers because of this destructive environment where wealth is valued more than human beings. Being an asshole in India means a guaranteed road to success, wealth and social respect. Indians practically worship ASSHOLES. Being a decent, cheerful, honest and transparent individual would get you nowhere in this country.

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    1. I couldn't agree more with you! My mum and I wear jeans in India and they call us sluts. Just because of what we wear. (I have the highest respect for prostitutes.. no judgement). Without even knowing us. So... it's not about what we do and who we are but men simply cannot tolerate it when women are independent and can get their shit done without having to beg some man.

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  94. Women are not the only creatures facing inequality in India. There's more to add here:

    1. The way Indians treat their servants is simply appalling. Even Indians of modest means are able to afford drivers, cooks, maids and other menials waiting on hand and foot. And even in 2014, it's considered perfectly acceptable talking down to the "servant class". Most Indians claim that servants are like members of their own family which is a blatant lie. I've never seen such dehumanizing behavior towards working staff among other races and cultures least of all Western countries.
    2. Problems like caste system, untouchability and caste endogamy are rampant even in 2014. Yes, these trends are less noticeable in the big cities but are very much below the surface.
    3. The abundance of God-men, sadhus, fakirs and other con artistes who're able to cheat hundreds of millions of people including highly educated people. What a waste of education and degrees if you have to still believe in charlatans and fake idols.

    If India has to truly move into the 21st century, it needs to get rid of these mental cobwebs and younger generation Indians must eliminate problems 1-2-3!!!

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    1. You are absoutely right. If you like, you may write something for this blog and I will publish it in your name (or anonymous).

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  95. I am making no assumptions as to what the nationality of the Author is however regardless of her nationality she is racist.
    And I am saying that YOU, specifically you NOT your gender, is racist. I am making this distinction because after reading some indian men replying the females on this said say "Of course it's we women that are out of our minds, it's all our fault."

    No, keep those comments out of this conversation and actually try to have a mature debate.
    Debate the ideas rather than simply playing the victim card, how far do you think that will go?
    And man do I need to thread carefully with the "victim card" comment yes I know, I am not talking about women that are ill-treated I'm simply talking of the "Oh it's our fault comment".

    So... this author is racist.
    A few men in India are bad and the entire race is bad?
    Then you will say oh they are all this or that. Listen man, birds of the same feather flock together.
    If you chose a good guy then congrats, if you chose a bad one why did you even become friendly with him let alone start a relationship with him?

    I know a lot of indian men, and guess what... NONE of them are assholes and all of them are respectful towards women. I mean 100% of them are good.
    Simple, if they were not good then I wouldn't hang with them, see.... how complicated is that?
    You women are going out with them, shhh I'm saying don't even be friends with them.
    But you judge by character NOT by nationality, to judge by nationality is so stupid beyond belief.
    I'm sorry but only a scorned woman would think like this and a scorned woman is a biased women!

    Same about my girl, she is not scorned but very happy, so she would be biased also saying what you are saying is completely untrue!

    Life isn't that complicated ladies!
    Grow Up!

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  96. Excuse me lady, when you are writing about Indian men that they are assholes & they treat their wives poorly & then taking women's side as if they are innocent ones then please talk about the today's Indian women too,

    when you say that men don't leave their job when their wives got promotion elsewhere & wife has to turn it down,
    for your knowledge it's woman's tendency that they want men earning higher than them, that's why women always marry up in society, they rarely marry a guy who is poor & not so earning well,
    you might have seen couple where female partner doesn't care if her male partner earning more or less than her but I have seen many Indian girls left their boyfriends cause they found well settled guy with huge earnings,
    why take GF/BF relation, I have seen many married women who got promotions & became manger or GM & soon after divorced their husbands & married some businessmen,
    & still in 2014 such women exist in India & according to you if husband leave his job then he may have to start from 0 in new location,

    Well I do agree with you at some extent but what you are saying is happening in Villages not in cities & definitely not on large basis,

    women in India are becoming more & more greedy & selfish, now they are just marrying for money, after that file false cases for money & destroy the innocent husband's life & his family's life,
    Because of such women more than 60,000 - 70,000 married men are committing suicide per year,
    Feminists & women's organizations even succeeded to pass laws that support women's adultery,
    In India a married women can commit adultery & they are not punishable but men are,
    & today adultery in Indian women is growing rapidly, & these so called poor Indian women are supporting gender biased laws,
    So just don't say only Indian men are assholes & they treat their innocent wives poorly,
    If the Indian men are assholes then Indian women are becoming demon & do say about that too....

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  97. judge a person by his nature but not by his citizenship

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  98. judge a person by his behaviour but not by his citizenship..

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  99. thank god u dont like indian man....... more woman like u dont like us better for us........ all the women(irrespective of indian or others and it's not 99% it's 100%) are bitch jerk...... all a woman can do is to ruin a man's life....... they can do nothing else....... oh god all the women are burden of all the country

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  100. Im currently separated from my indian husband, who at every chance he gets, lies about his indian heritage calling himself arab mixed with some sort of Hispanic. I wonder why? We were married for 7 years, and have a beautiful daughter. During our 4th year of marriage, I caught him cheating. He continued to cheat throughout the marriage. I forgave and forgave trying to keep my marriage together, but to no avail, I found my self respect and finally left. This man followed the footsteps of his father and ended up in a relationship with his affair partner after we split. We hadn't even started on divorce papers before I found out he tattooed the name of his whorrre on his arm. Not even you daughters name first , sir? Nope. He disrespected me everyday during our marriage, calling me prostitute, slut, whore, bit*ch you name it. I would speak to his mother about his cheating and his disrespect and she would reply " well what are YOU DOING to make him act this way? If you did your job as a wife he wouldnt have to do these things. Apparently you seek this marriage as a means of convenience, etc". I am a Haitian American woman with many values. My parents have been married 40 years and I wanted to follow their footsteps. I cant speak for all indian men as I was only married to one, but boy does this article hit the nail on the head about my situation. There is no winning with a man like that. Either you submit and accept, or you dont deal with it at all.

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  101. I agree.I m 18 year old male,and I know women are being treated here as a sex toy,child production factory,slut,etc..I don't have words to describe those events that I actually saw with my eyes.Pathetic conditions in upbringing girls in India,they are taught that their husband is god for them,you cannot leave him and so on..The area where I live in ,I don't make any friend ,not a single one,because of their mentality.They pass dirty comments on girls,take them as slut if the girl see's back.Hell.Actually today I was on omegle for first time.There whenever I wrote that-"18,M,India",then the person on other side disconnected the chat whereas on other side when I wrote -"18.M" then I got the reply .As a reason I started to search for reputation of Indians over there,and finally found this article,seems like if by mistake I live outside my country and on that fall in love with the girl over there,then she would not even look at me after knowing my nationality.

    Though,whenever I tried to make a girl my friend ,then always the girl on other side thought I was trying to flirt with her which was not true and as a reason once in school, a girl said me that she will not live without me and will die and called one of her classmate and that boy tried to threaten me saying that I cannot leave her,and due to that I had to shift to another city and now I don't talk to any girl,I fear and this means yes there are also certain number of girls in India like this,that time I was so sweet and simple that even when someone shouted on me,I used to cry like hell(not now).But still I am waiting for right girl for me,and think true love has power. :).And men here who don't accept pathetic condition of India ,go and eat shit.

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