White

There is something so beautiful about sleeping on a bed with white sheets, pillow covers and duvets. I love it when I get into a bed with all white bedding. It feels like I am staying in a posh hotel. Clean, crisp sheets are one of the most luxurious things in my life.

Once upon a time, I used to not care about the colour of my bedding, the texture or the heaviness of my duvet. All of that changed when I decided to venture into The White Company once when I was out shopping alone. Then I decided on a whim to get a fabulous duvet and duvet cover and never looked back. The white is so calming and peaceful. It becomes easy to leave all negativity of the day outside the bedroom when something so inviting is beckoning to you. 

We spend half of our lives in our bed. We sleep, cuddle, read, have sex and are in our most comfortable state in it. Lord knows we deserve the best while we are at it. To slip in between cool 400 thread count sheets on a hot summer night, snuggle on lazy Friday mornings and spend those few moments before sleeping and right after waking up being a complete vegetable is utter bliss. 

So the next time you are out shopping for bedding, make sure it's white, at least 250 thread count, and of high quality. 

Criticism

Everyday it seems like people tell us what we should be doing or where we went wrong. Everyone has an opinion on how we could have done things better or quicker. Whether it's your colleague, boss, friend, parents, partner or just a random person walking on the road, criticism can and will come in some form. When that happens, all you have to do is stay true to yourself, your principles and tell them (sometimes just in your head), "Bitch, I'm FABULOUS", do a hair flip and be on your way. 

Selfish People Live Longer

One of the best things you can do is not caring about people. If you want to live a life of happiness and freedom, it starts with blocking out the rest of the world. I honestly believe that selfish people live longer. Just the other day, I was having a conversation with a friend who told me about how we should all be more in love with ourselves before we find someone else to love. The relationship you have with yourself is the longest and the strongest one you'll ever have and it's so important that it's a positive, comforting and a loving relationship.

Many of us think of others before we think of ourselves. Being the one who always compromises does not make you a saint. It makes you a doormat. And nobody respects a doormat. There are others who victimise themselves and proclaim to have sacrificed their lives for others. For decisions taken by them about what has to be done in their life and then expecting someone else to honour and respect those decisions or sympathise with them won't gain them my comfort.

Be unapologetic for how you feel and what you think. If you had good intentions and didn't harm anyone, there is no need to apologise. Do not care about what others think of your life decisions and what is going on in your life. Everything that you are going through, others aren't. Hence, you do not need to give explanations to anyone or feel ashamed of where you are in life.

Since I was a very young, I did not care about what other people thought of me. And this has helped me sleep peacefully at night. People talk behind your back because you are ahead of them. They're lagging behind. So just strut your stuff and forget about the losers commenting out of jealousy.

Do not try to help people unless they ask for it. I repeat, do not offer help unless explicitly asked for it. Do not help family, friends or strangers unless they mention what specific help they want from you and even then, only help if you can and really want to. If you have doubts... don't do anything. Just say that it is currently not a priority for you.

Cut out all negative people from your life. Dispose of all those people who use you for your money, position or to do their work. All those people who do not give you happiness, increase your headaches, use you as their emotional crutch, speak badly of others, gossip, are judgemental, unkind, manipulative or discouraging you from being the best you can be, should be let go. Do not be sorry to see them go and do not take them back, no matter how much they grovel.

Being selfish does not make you a bad person. If you do not think about your well-being, who will? For god's sake, at least be the leading lady of your own life.

Why I Will Never Marry An Indian


Indian men are assholes in relationships... At least almost all the ones I have encountered.

Whenever I imagined myself with a partner, I always, always pictured him to be a non-Indian man. I have always had this very, very bad image of Indian men because I have seen and met only a few (a number I can just count with one hand) of them who could be called "humane". Let me elaborate.

Since childhood, Indian men are put on a pedestal. They are the higher sex. When they are born, there is a celebration in the house because the penis that is going to pass on the legacy of the house is born. They are given better treatment and respect that girls never get. They are the apple of their mothers' eyes who treat them like a prince. They also notice their fathers being treated as kings at home. So, they grow up to be these men who think that women are doormats.

They do not know how to respect and treat a woman with love and care. They do not acknowledge that she is a human too. She isn't a fucking robot who cooks, cleans, takes care of your children and brings money to the table! Indian men do not like it when their women have financial independence. Even if the women work, they should always make less than the man so that his ego is not hurt. On the other side, if the woman does not work at all, she is made to feel like since she is doing nothing that adds to the income, she is basically useless. 


If the husband ever has to change locations due to a transfer in his job, the wife has to leave everything and go along with him. If the woman gets a similar opportunity, she will have to turn it down because her husband will not be moving just for her. 

Indian men think that their wives are inferior to them. This is because of the way they were raised and they see the sex discrimination all around them - how he is treated versus his sisters, how his father treats his mother etc. Some assholes even find it funny to insult their wives in front of others thinking that it is funny and others will think of them as "the stud". Yeah, it's not funny and you are insulting your better half. You are just an asshole. 

Also, just because you are men, it does not mean that you know more. Even with less education than their partners, these husbands treat their wives like crap. Which is fucking annoying to see! Hello, the woman married below her level and you are trying to up her? 

I have never seen an Indian man taking the side of his partner and saying that his partner is right and he is standing by her. No fucking way. It's always the wife's fault and she has to deal with her problems. She will never find her husband beside her. But in case, her husband has a problem, she of course is expected to let go of everything at hand and rush to him. And have you ever seen an Indian man take care of his baby/babysit while the mother is out with friends? No. It's always the woman who has to take care of the children as if he has no contribution at all in the process. But if the wife isn't able to conceive, that's another hell for her. 

Last but not the least, how Indian men treat their mothers versus how they treat their wives. So, these mothers treat their sons like princes and one day, their prince marries another girl. The mothers cannot handle this and go all bat-shit crazy. Daughter-in-laws are treated like second hand goods. So, what do our Indian men do about it when their mothers treat their wives badly? Nothing. They do not have the balls to stand up to their mothers and tell them to shove it. 





So whom do we blame for all of this? The way the men are brought up by their mothers? The way society encourages this kind of behaviour  Or the wife who tolerates his bullshit? I say that everything contributes to turning Indian men into the SOBs they are now. Since it doesn't look like this is going to change anytime soon, I shall steer away from getting too close to any Indian man. 

PS: I have not replied to most of the comments that agree with my point of view. Sometimes you say it better than I do and I thank you for reading the post and commenting. I really do value your support. 

Related Posts:
Fuck You, India!
Control Your Damn Kids!
Sexual Harassment, Rape & More
Ambanis and Bikinis
Women on Top
And my epic post: Incredible? Really??

!ncredible? Really??

The fact that I hate Indians (in spite of the fact that I own an Indian passport) is no secret. And I have had countless arguments and discussions with people ranging from my parents to acquaintances. Each has his/her own reason to agree or disagree with me (mostly disagree - no surprise there!). But I have not gotten a chance to lay out all the reasons why I have formed such a view. I shall do that here.


Let me start off by saying that, even though I say "Indians" in this post, I am only referring to the majority. I have friends who have are lovely, broad-minded people. One of them inspired me to shed my ignorant religious beliefs. Another offers me advice every step of the way. It's her advice I value the most in my life. Many have been there for me whenever I had needed them. I am proud to say that these are my best of friends.

Now, lets enter the dark side. I will list the negative points out and try to explain and justify each to the best of my abilities. I refer to Indians as "they" here because I do not include myself in their category.


The government: Starting with pre-independence. Sure there was a lot of repression by the British, taxes, economic damage etc. What I do not understand is, why do they forget all that the British had done FOR them? For example: the railways, roads, infrastructure, postal facilities, schools, English education, abolition of sati (the widows had to sit on the burning pyre of her husband), increasing the age for child marriage and many many other blessings. We see books written on why the British were tyrants but only a few sentences on the good that they had done. Also, the reason they couldn't do much better was because of our different religious customs. British couldn't have pleased the Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, Christians and the rest, all at the same time.

Gandhi was just a man and not a God. He was lucky because he was at the right time and place. British were having problems at home because of the wars and were weak. Getting them out, especially with them willing to leave, was no great achievement.

Coming back to the present, I think India has not done much progress. I'll first quote Aravind Adiga in his book The White Tiger (a must read to know the real India), "...India, has never been free. First the Muslims, then the British bossed us around. In 1947 the British left, but only a moron would think that we became free then". Sure, the economy is "booming" but what is it doing for the common man? What use is a booming economy when the majority of its people are below the poverty line, when the most happening city Bombay (now Mumbai) has slums right next to its airport, when there are minimum 4 hour power-cuts in metropolitan cities like Bangalore and more than 8 hours power-cuts in the villages?

These people who report that the economy is booming, come to India on private jets, use helicopters as a means of transport, live in 7-star hotels and produce a superb report on how awesome India is. Seriously?! Last time President Obama visited India, I expected him to DRIVE through the roads. But then the choppers were used and my dreams were shattered.

There is so much to write on the present government's problems to the common man. Corruption is the biggest one. Every single task, even if it means one stamp on a paper, needs bribe. Every single person from the grass-root level till the top is corrupt. There is no one a person can complain to because everyone's of the same category. Anyone who dares to go against authority will be murdered the next day and this is done. Politics has become a family affair and no new faces are seen. There are 92 year old politicians refusing to hand over power. How can such a country progress?

All for nothing: India has taxes and rates, just like every other democratic country in the world. But we, the common citizens, get nothing in return - no pension benefits, no good infrastructure, poor healthcare etc. I refuse to accept that India has no money. If we honestly had no money, how is it that the cricketers and actors get paid in millions?

If you're rich in India, unless you have very very good bodyguards, you're doomed. Kidnapping and being held for ransom is an everyday thing. Police are useless and might also be involved in the kidnappings themselves. The businessmen build houses as big as this but the government can't pay a good amount to widows/elderly people from the taxes they get from such personalities.


UPDATE: The owner of this house (Mukesh Ambani) isn't living in it because there are "vaastu" (superstitious beliefs) problems in it.

Even if a person is highly educated in India, his/her income, compared to how much he/she would earn in other countries is way less. It is no wonder that people migrate to other countries. Of course there is a drain of brain. In other countries, citizens go abroad to study and return to work in their own country but in India, it's the other way around. Living in India, for a middle class citizen, is the most toughest thing. If you can survive India, you can survive anywhere.
Life there is very hard to adjust to, especially if you had lived in better countries. I see expatriates here (Bahrain), who claim India is The Best Place on the face of the earth. If it is so, what are you doing in an Arab country, my dear? Why work under someone else in a foreign country when you love and praise yours so much?

The Education System: So, I study in an Indian affiliated school and according to them 17 year olds do not need to use calculators. Everything should be done manually on paper. It is the bloody 21st Century for Christ's sake! One of my friends who is attending UWC, told me about her experience when she looked like a fool, in her first class, for taking up 15 minutes to do a sum, that could've been done using a calculator in no time. The material and content in the textbooks is utter useless, bullcrap. Indian education is not good because they're so smart, it's good because everyone is forced to memorise facts and write them on paper for exams. The relevance of those facts in everyday life and their application is not given importance.

Every educational institution has become a business. NRI (Non-Residential Indian) students are quickly accepted into an institution so that large amounts of donations could be collected. All reserved seats are sold to the students agreeing to pay a fat amount. A seat for MD in Radiology is sold for $270,000.

The Narrow-Mindedness: So you've had pre-marital sex? You have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Doomed. In a typical modern Indian society, men and women are to be away from each other and act as if ignorant of the word "sex". Even in a co-ed school, while travelling boys and girls sit separately, in classes they sit in different rows, even at functions they're to be separate. Any bodily contact seen by authorities is referred to the parents. And this is the land from which the Kamasutra originated, with their temples showing nude deities having intercourse with each other and also with animals. The dressing sense of woman is way more important than any other issue. Everything should be covered and loose or else you're termed as a whore. In this "secular" country, all are following, without knowledge, the Hindu and Muslim traditions of behaviour and dressing.

The most educated people still have rituals to drive away spirits from their homes. What use is education and wealth when you're taking the country back, rather than forward? When someone posts images of herself in a bikini on vacation, she is frowned upon. Indians girls are made to wear invisible chastity belts. But in spite of all this, teenage pregnancies are no less as compared to any Western country. The only difference is, the abortion is done secretively and no outsiders come to know of this. Women who dress "modestly" are the ones being the home-wreckers.

Indians talk about "culture" and "traditions" and I wonder, which ones are you referring to? Almost every married man and woman is having an extra-marital affair in a metropolitan city. Most of the people in my own family have done embarrassing things. So this culture Indians talk about is just an illusion and there is no such thing. If you call oppression of women's rights is culture, then sure, they have it. Women are not allowed to drink and smoke like men, because it's unwritten law made by the "head of the family". I think it should be a personal choice rather than a restriction.

Random Thoughts: What is with the people peeing on the road? Seriously?! There are public restrooms if it's that urgent. And do your business at home! We have to walk on the streets and I would like it a lot of they didn't stink of urine.

There is a reason there are traffic signals, rules and lanes. "Yes, I know it doesn't make a difference to you because you happen to be most important person in the world and the only one in hurry, but there is an ambulance over there that needs to get to the hospital. That's not as important as you are? OK, sorry, I bothered such an important person." I have had vehicles literally brush against me while walking on side of the road. You ask why wasn't I walking on the footpath? Because they're filled with shops like these, only with more people.


Why do government workers take so much time for such little work? Even fixing of telephone line takes a minimum of one month. If it has to be done faster, extra money (aka bribe) has to be given.

Every single item of food is adulterated. Milk, tea, coffee, rice among many others. What am I actually eating?

Religion is treated very... religiously! And not in the positive sense. Hindus throw pigs in mosques and Muslims retaliate by throwing beef inside temples. Yes, very mature. And both Hindus and Muslims hate Christians.

Why do you touch me, men? I know I look way better than the rest of the girls on the street but that does not mean that I am public property for you to fondle. TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME! This is one of the MAIN reasons I hate Indians. MEN. Are you all that sex deprived?

Refusal to Acknowledge: So since I've had so many arguments and discussions with various people, I have noticed one thing. Most of them do not want to accept that some things are WRONG. The very basic of things, that are happening right in front of their eyes, they refuse to acknowledge and say "yes, this is wrong". Advocating that India is the best place to live in, "booming economy" yada yada makes no sense to me.They say India is awesome but send their kids to USA and UK to study. Owning property in India and visiting it during the vacation, is a completely different experience than making a living in that country. Students will also find is very liberating to study in India because money is provided by the parents, there are no laws being implemented and everything is allowed.
All I want to say is, unless you've lived in India alone as a middle-class, working woman, you cannot agree or disagree with me because you do not qualify. If you cannot agree with me on these issues, because these happen everywhere in India, you're deluding yourself.

These are my experiences in a metropolitan city and the real backwardness of Indians lies in the villages (which I've not even touched upon). I might have angered you but you know it's the truth.