Today I had a conversation with a lady about cooking and baking. She asked if I bake and I replied that in the kitchen I hardly could boil water without screwing up. She laughed and asked whom I was buying the baking tin for then and I replied that it was for my boyfriend. She then commented that men are better cooks than women if we go by all the top chefs in the world. That is because, I replied, women cook out of necessity and men out of their passion.
I have saved so much by not eating out and travelling this year that I might just commit to becoming a hermit. The minute I step out, I'm literally spending money (the car needs fuel to move and fuel costs money). And one of the biggest expenses we have is rent but we were hardly ever home before. Don't you feel like you actually used your home this year and the rent was worth it?
Summers in Arabia were usually so hot that I used to curse the desert I was living in. This year, it was different. I was hardly out during the day and that made the hottest summer, in more than a 100 years, seem actually pleasant. Am I turning into a Pollyanna? MAYBE.
Has the pandemic been bad for me? Nope. I've started to cook more at home, read more than ever and watched the world do stupid things on my phone while enjoying a glass of wine/cup of tea (depending on the time). I think I am finally getting the peace of mind I have been missing all these years.
Related: I am also wondering if I am turning into a sociopath. There is very little that upsets me and when it does, I seem to bounce back sooner than I would pre pandemic.
Unfortunately, the disease of the rich has spread to the poor but I am still optimistic. Anyone who is dying because of it, I say natural selection. And we are all meant to die one day or another. The pandemic has just reminded us of our mortality.
Up until this year, we focused so much on materialism and consuming. We wanted more, more, more of everything. We didn't appreciate the things, people, relationships, pets, and other joys in our lives. Instead we were busy, tired, stressed, frustrated and always on some screen getting the next fix for our addicted brains. Since March, I think since we have all finished watching everything on Netflix and every other social media available, we can now see that there is nothing more to life than the simple joys we experience everyday.
I advise you to do something I have always done: live everyday as if it were your last without regrets. Would you still be doing what you are doing right now if you knew that you were dying tomorrow?
Recently a video was unearthed of a comedian in India from a year or so ago. In that, the comic Agrima Joshua, makes fun of the people on Quora about their discussion on a statue being built in Bombay (I refuse to call it Mumbai, you can kiss my ass) of one of the rulers of that area from the 1600s.
The Indian idiots, uneducated and pathetic as they are, vandalised the venue where the act was performed years ago and started harassing this woman online by sending her rape and death threats. All because they thought she was making fun of their king (India is currently a democracy and nobody actually knows what happened 500 years ago but still these people would rather worship a dead person than take a joke) without understanding what her act was not about the old ruler after all.
I have no words to describe the rape threats she received. Of men threatening to rape her and her mother so brutally that their penis comes out through her mouth all while claiming that he respects women. Firstly, as serious as this issue is and how disgusted I was, the person making this threat looked like he had a two inch penis while it was erect. Like really. Shubham Mishra looks like he has the tiniest dick in the world. And him making that kind of claim is just preposterous.
Apart from the weirdness of that image, I wondered what exactly is happening in India? While claiming to be the largest democracy, secular and tolerant, there is such a tight censorship on speech that uneducated people who do not understand what others are saying get to shut them up by threatening violence. This person, Mishra, is not just some person off the road. He is an “influencer” with over 300K followers on YouTube. Who the fuck are the morons following this guy who makes a living out of saying the most atrocious things and speaking in the cheapest/foulest language possible?
It is not growth and becoming modern when we value the dead more than the living and argue before understanding what someone else was saying. What’s even more surprising is that women agree with these men than other women. They call dead rulers “father of our state” while a living sister in their state is being sent death threats.
The worst part about all of this? ALL the foul language refers to women and women’s bodies. Everywhere.
I honestly did not want to write this post because I was speechless. But here we are.
This is a quote I read and it seems to say exactly what I mean:
"Social distancing is a privilege. It means you live in a house large enough to practise it. Hand washing is a privilege too. It means you have access to running water. Hand sanitisers are a privilege. It means you have money to buy them. Lockdowns are a privilege. It means you can afford to be at home. Most of the ways to ward the Corona off are accessible only to the affluent. In essence, a disease that was spread by the rich as they flew around the globe will now kill millions of the poor. All of us who are practising social distancing and have imposed a lockdown on ourselves must appreciate how privileged we are. Many Indians won’t be able to do any of this."
Obviously, I know I am going to be hated for this but whatever. Here it is:
I don't care about the coronavirus or how "serious" it is. I consider it a disease for the wealthy. The ones who go out and travel and those that have first world problems. It's a rich person's disease and that's why it's been given such brilliant PR. I don't care if a few thousand people die. Guess what? People die everyday.
People die because of reckless driving, adventurous stunts, overdosing on alcohol, drugs and pills and in many, many other ways and yet they don't have the same PR. But then again, these are also rich people deaths.
Shall we talk about the deaths of the poor that take place every single day and nobody gives a damn? Babies that die at birth because of improper care, mothers that die giving birth, cancer patients who don't have the money for treatment, depressed people who don't have access to support and help, uneducated people who do not know when to go to a doctor, etc. Diseases of poverty have killed more people during the entire timeline of the human race and yet nobody has shut down the entire fucking world economy for them.
Now that leaders of the world, movie stars and sports personalities are getting affected, we are being asked to wash hands and stay home for the foreseeable future. Who the hell is going to look after the mental health of those who are stuck at home and anxious? Even if someone sneezes, they immediately think it's COVID-19 and start panicking! Stop the madness!
This entire "pandemic" has gotten me in such a rage. And this whole "doctors and nurses are our heroes". Really? Where the fuck is your god now? Any person with half a brain would know that they have ALWAYS been the heroes. They're the ones who diagnose and cure diseases, not god! When your so called pandemic hits, you ask them for help and forget about god.
Fucking hypocrites.
Firstly, I want to say how disgusted I am by the British public. The way they have torn a woman apart, while touting feminism and tolerance, is the highest level of hypocrisy I have encountered in the 21st century and this includes Donald Trump. Honestly, if I am implying that you are less than Donald Trump, you're almost as bad as the Nazis. If this woman were to walk the streets, I'm pretty sure, in the absence of the law, they would have burnt her alive.
Secondly, I want to show how disappointed I am in the British Royal Family. Yes, they colonised and robbed the world but I thought they would have been perhaps slightly repentant and done more for a person of colour who was now a part of their family but attacked by a pack of wolves on a daily basis. Not one member of this family came to her and her husband's defence including the future heirs. It goes to show exactly how racist they are even now. Not that I'm surprised; I mean, they basically created slavery.
When Meghan Markle got engaged, people acclaimed how progressive the monarchy has become to accept a woman of colour (as if we are all diseased because we aren't deficient in melanin). As soon as the ring was on her finger, the tabloids, the very leeches that the British Royal Family feeds, started tearing her apart. There was nothing she could do, say, wear, or express that was acceptable.
When Kate Middleton was first married into the family, the same tabloids picked on her but never at this level of vengence. They dubbed her Waity Katie, spoke about her extravagant vacations that she took very often, and that her mother supposedly schemed by sending her to the same university and same year as Prince William so that they could hook up. But she is white and British even though she has not done a day's honest work in her life. All of this is preferable to a biracial, American divorcee who was an actor and an activist.
Meghan Markle has been a feminist since the age of 12 and before joining the Royal Family, had enough charity work under her belt than Kate does after all these years.
But who cares about substance? The jealousy I see in some of these comments is so blatant, it's almost laughable. They shouldn't get titles, she shouldn't be a duchess, she is too trashy to be a royal, she is too smug, and so on. Even things like titles that literally cost the public nothing is such a hot topic! It's as if they're screaming, "How dare a coloured woman be a part of our royal family"?!
After listening to these news stories and comments, to prevent the fate that Diana, Princess of Wales, faced, her son says that he does not want to work for the Royal Family anymore and he wants a peaceful life for his family on his own terms. And now people are mad again after literally asking them to leave the UK for two years!
"How ungrateful and disrespectful they are to the Queen!"
"Meghan is a piece of work."
Here's a quote on CNN about the racism: Race, in fact, has been a huge factor. One of the earliest pieces, which ran in the Daily Mail, declared, "Harry's girl is (almost) straight outta Compton" and painted her hometown as "plagued by crime and riddled with street gangs." It "couldn't be more different to London's leafy Kensington," the piece read. Later, BBC host Danny Baker was fired for comparing Meghan and Harry's baby, Archie, to a chimpanzee.
Here's a quote on CNN about the racism: Race, in fact, has been a huge factor. One of the earliest pieces, which ran in the Daily Mail, declared, "Harry's girl is (almost) straight outta Compton" and painted her hometown as "plagued by crime and riddled with street gangs." It "couldn't be more different to London's leafy Kensington," the piece read. Later, BBC host Danny Baker was fired for comparing Meghan and Harry's baby, Archie, to a chimpanzee.
I persnally am glad that they are leaving that toxic environment which does not serve them anymore. They have gained the traction and following they require to do the work without the Royal Family involved. And due to them branching out, I believe, they will be more popular than ever.
The other day, we were having a discussion amongst colleagues about whether period blood is dirty. I cannot begin to explain how my brain almost blew out of my skull when male colleagues said this. In which educated society are these words uttered?! Yes, the men who said this were religious and they were saying this because their religion was telling them that period blood is dirty but that is no excuse in my opinion. They then brought in science and said that it's "scientifically proven" that period blood is dirty.
First of all, shame on you for believing a religion without thinking for yourself. Secondly, which fucking medical journal says this?! Where the fuck is it scientifically proven?
Period blood has "blood, uterine tissue, mucus lining, and bacteria" which is much more "pure" than sweat, saliva, urine and feces. But people who are sweating or drooling are allowed to enter temples and pray so why are menstruating women not allowed?
One of the argument was that this time is for women to "rest". I don't see them resting, bro. They're out there doing all the work except for the select few odd jobs that you guys have deemed unworthy to be done by a bleeding woman.
How can the blood that sustains life be considered impure? I wonder who made this bullshit up. Someone with a penis, perhaps? For thousands of years, men never gave women the chance to be physically as able as them and then kept them indoors and oppressed by not giving them the right to inherit, own property, vote, hold offices etc. Thank goodness that it does not fly anymore but we are still facing imbeciles who are technically educated and still say that period blood is dirty.
Who decides what is pure and impure? Why are men even allowed to pass judgement about our bodies when they do not know what is going on inside them? None of the men have had periods and yet they are the authority on whether they are pure or impure.
Lastly, these women who abide by these illogical rules thinking it makes them special to be delicate frustrate me because they are further solidifying the stereotype that women are helpless creatures who need to be told what to do. This is where men can say that "she is crazy" because of hormones and we "need to be dealt with". Who apart from the woman herself (and her husband if she is married) knows that she is bleeding? Nobody. In this case, it's women who self monitor and tell themselves that they are too impure to be doing certain things. It's us driving in the fact that we are dirty and kept away when bleeding.
The discussion ended with our colleague telling me that if I want to stay ignorant then "live with it". I'm sorry but I have to live with my period because it's a very natural phenomenon that I did not ask for. It's a bloody inconvenience that I have to put up with and live with, and it's not a choice.
Let's not forget that if women had no periods, then there would be no men to deem them impure.
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Next time you are at a family gathering, observe the dynamics of men and women and report below. Do they sit together, talk to each other, have the meal together, play with the kids equally and whether the men help in cleaning up after the party or it's just the women who do?
I've been so interested in this since I was a kid. When my parents hosted parties, the women all huddled together either in the kitchen or in the bedroom (and kept away from the men as if they were orthodox) as soon as they entered. The kids either stayed with the women if they were babies or just left to their own devices to run around the host's house, screaming at the top of their lungs if they were older. The men sat in the living room, indulging in drinks. The women kept making cameo appearances at the men's area offering plates of appetisers or mixers for their drinks. They basically acted like waitresses. If some of the women drink, they drink their watered down, dainty little drinks even if none of the drive.
Yes, in spite of being under the influence, it's the men who drive their wives and children home after a party.
Let me point out that the men did not tell them not to sit there or that they were shooed away. This is what the women chose to do. Maybe this is why the book Lean In resonated with me because who else could understand the message of "sit at the table along with all the men" better than someone who has seen women shrink away from this all their life?
Yes, in spite of being under the influence, it's the men who drive their wives and children home after a party.
Let me point out that the men did not tell them not to sit there or that they were shooed away. This is what the women chose to do. Maybe this is why the book Lean In resonated with me because who else could understand the message of "sit at the table along with all the men" better than someone who has seen women shrink away from this all their life?
I'm very fortunate to come from a family that does not do this. The women drink along with the men and are absolutely not shy of expressing their opinion just as my maternal grandmother was the life of the party whenever she hosted anyone. Women have always formed a very important part of all discussions and their opinions do hold weight. My mother too finds it surprising when the women sit separately and talk about inane topics when she would rather be arguing about politics with the men.
Of course, some might argue that women also need the support of other women sometimes and they like to discuss things that men may not be interested in. Which can be an absolutely valid point. But there is a time for that and dinner parties is not it! Women can have their own separate gatherings without men just how men have "boys' nights out". Dinner parties are not it.
Also, how sexist is it that once the meal is over, only the women clear out the plates and not the men? The men ate too, didn't they? Maybe this is where little boys learn the difference between their female counterparts. I don't believe I have ever seen a boy being asked to set or clear the table but girls do it without being told as if they come with a job description that includes clearing tables.
I would really like to see a difference in our generation in these little things. They do not take away from the stereotypes of any gender. A boy or man does not become any less macho by helping his mother or his hostess by carrying a few plates and dishes to the kitchen. Change begins when the mother teaches her little boys these responsibilities and I'm hopeful that this might actually end up in the creation of more equal households.
Of course, some might argue that women also need the support of other women sometimes and they like to discuss things that men may not be interested in. Which can be an absolutely valid point. But there is a time for that and dinner parties is not it! Women can have their own separate gatherings without men just how men have "boys' nights out". Dinner parties are not it.
Also, how sexist is it that once the meal is over, only the women clear out the plates and not the men? The men ate too, didn't they? Maybe this is where little boys learn the difference between their female counterparts. I don't believe I have ever seen a boy being asked to set or clear the table but girls do it without being told as if they come with a job description that includes clearing tables.
I would really like to see a difference in our generation in these little things. They do not take away from the stereotypes of any gender. A boy or man does not become any less macho by helping his mother or his hostess by carrying a few plates and dishes to the kitchen. Change begins when the mother teaches her little boys these responsibilities and I'm hopeful that this might actually end up in the creation of more equal households.
One of the most disturbing things I witnessed was at a wedding this January.
We had travelled from Bahrain to India for a three day bash with the engagement party, bridal shower and the wedding along with the reception. The atrocity I witnessed was on the day of the bridal shower.
Bridal showers are called "roce" where I come from. The ceremony includes all the female relatives of the bride extracting milk from coconuts which is then applied to the bride's hair, face and limbs. Once everyone has applied the coconut milk, she goes to take a shower, changes her outfit and the guests party the night away.
In the olden days, since people were poor to hold parties, relatives of the bride contributed to the party by bringing various groceries from their homes as a gift to the bride's family so they could use the groceries for the meal at the bridal shower. There is no need to do any of that now because if you have the money to pay for lighting, decoration, photographer and a DJ, you definitely have money to pay for catering and feel the guests. The bringing of gifts is now just a formality.
Unfortunately, people don't have the brain capacity to understand this. Guess what the people in my village bring as a grocery item for the bride? A live pig, tied upside down on a stick, carried by two men. Never have I ever been more upset at a function than this time.
I cannot even begin to describe how inhumane it is to do this to a pig for fun. For the show. They did not kill the pig or roast it (which even if they had, the animal shouldn't be scared and tortured beforehand but rather a quick, painless death) but they brought it just because it would look good in photos. I don't understand how we can still use animals for our amusement. This is 2019 and everyone is an informed, educated individual with a smartphone in their hand and yet we behave as people did 300 years ago!
And the worst part is that people I know, in my village or in life in general, are like sheep and they will do things just because their neighbour or friend or brother's wife did it. I don't think anyone thinks this through or questions at all and instead just follow the norm even if it's wrong. I ask you, is this how a progressing society will function?
Now, I understand that I am a meat eater and I should not be preaching how cruel this is when I consume chicken, beef, mutton and pork. I do not mind if animals are killed in a humane and quick manner for consumption but I will never be okay with cruelty towards animals for a party. Even if they did want to roast a pig at the bridal shower, the right thing would have been to kill the animal quickly at the butchery instead of torturing the poor beast in this manner.
Humans really are the most cruel of species who have no limit on their cruelty. There is another wedding in India I am attending and I'm terrified of what I will witness there.
I implore you, dear reader, that before you do something, please ask yourself whether it is kind and necessary.
People who post this image or talk along the same lines infuriate me. Mostly because they post this thinking this is something that they woo would like because obviously see yourself as the short guy. You were not born into a wealthy family, did not have the best education money has to offer, did not find your sweetheart at the age of 21 etc. So of course, you need to receive more from life than the other person to make up!
But think from the other perspective. For example: a disabled person, an old, retired individual, a single mom and you (a single, childless person) are all working together in the same company and same department. You all have the same job and same hours. Don't you think if "justice" came into play, all these people should get more salary than you? A disabled person and older individuals have medical bills to pay, a single mother has to fend for herself and her kids alone while you don't have those issues or responsibilities.
Won't you feel slighted at the fact that you do the same amount of work as they do but receive less money for it? If you wanted justice in life, this is what it would be. If everyone got the same amount of money for the same work, regardless of their needs and wants, it would be equality.
Do you still want justice?
Don't marry them if they:
won't stand up for you.
don't show up when you ask them to.
don't take care of you when you need them to.
don't return your calls.
won't share details of their life with you.
won't share details of their finances with you.
believe others over you.
choose something or someone else over you.
forget your birthday.
don't make you feel loved.
speak ill of you behind your back.
ask you to change for them.
cheat on you.
lie to you.
hit you.